Just Me

I finally took a picture of myself without my hair since I lost it from chemotherapy. It finally is starting to grow back and kinda feels like sand paper in some spots. Since I am kinda bashful and don't always show my picture, this is part of the healing process to overcome some obstacles as well as other things. This is one of my better days since my journey began with the cancer. I am just trying to figure out how I ended up with such a crooked smile, must be from sleeping on the left side too much. (laughing at that.) Anyway, this is the face God gave me and he doesn't make junk.

Lessons

How often do we read something that we can truly associate with. Well I have and this article titled Murder by Gossip is one that I can relate to. When I first began writing about my experience with the Eucharist and some issues that I was dealing with in my life, I was confused at the time because of the enormity of what I was experiencing. Walking through God's Spirit is one of them and what I was given regarding that. There is not a single person on this planet earth that will ever understand what exactly happened and what I was given, If there is I would like to meet them.

To make a long story as short as possible, there was another blogger who befriended me, then out of the blue wrote on their blog that because I was confused, I was evil. If that wasn't murder by gossip I don't know what else to say, and this came from a catholic. I have dealt with many unbelievers in the catholic faith, maybe due to their own jealousy for what I was given along with the proof. I have forgiven this person for murdering my character and God's work as I began to understand what God did for me.

I did continue to write and also continue to have moments of extreme doubt about it all due to the fact that I was thinking I was evil. May God forgive me for letting this anguish take root in my heart and mind to cause God more hurt from another. That's why I don't feel the world is ready for what I have to show them.

Overcoming the Hurdles

I know this world has many flaws that mar the beauty that God created. The flaws are made by man and put there to create chaos. Such as trying to create their own creatures or digging underground tunnels to co join other parts of the world throwing many things out of balance. Drilling for oil and wasting precious fuel, all man made destruction on a large scale. The poor are the ones who do not benefit from what greed has done to mar the world.

God made our world to be used by all not by a select few, yet wars are fought to own land, oil, riches. Who is the winner when many die to possess what we cannot take when we die to begin with. So what is the purpose then to possess if it not shared by all. That had me thinking about the pictures I have of the Eucharist and my thought of destroying them so no one may ever see them and cause a ruckus in the world. These pictures are not worth a thing but in sentiment only for myself. If I destroy them, the proof that God exists will no longer be and that will basically end it altogether. I didn't seek any fame or fortune for what God gave freely, but to give the world his countenance. Yet I have found nothing good in this world that merits saving it from itself. That's very sad indeed when the majority of the world seeks to destroy rather than save.

I think I will be contemplating the next step in deciding the fate of the pictures. May God guide my hand and my thoughts before I do something that will be not be able to be undone. Maybe I too can overcome the hurdles this world has brought.

Reaching to Heaven

This photo is a picture of a rose bush that has one stem reaching straight up. I think it is taller than I am at this point. At the very top of the single stem are three buds of roses.



I couldn't help but think as this rose bush was growing that it seemed to be reaching to heaven. I love this particular one because the roses have a delightful scent. The more I contemplated its growth upward, when I saw the three buds I couldn't help but think about the Blessed Trinity, Father, Son and Holy Spirit sitting there at the very top. I suppose if my line of thinking is this way, then my thoughts are also reaching up to heaven as well. Must be a strong faith in God!!

Pictures

This is the Pilgrim statue of Our Lady of Fatima taken on Monday evening. Yesterday, Tuesday, April 5, 2011 was awesome to see a break in the rain to have a bit of brief sunlight. I was able to have a glimpse of a few bluebirds that were passing through. I think this is the second time I had that opportunity. I took this picture because everytime I go near the statue, it doesn't look the same as it did when it was dropped off. There was a beautiful smile upon her face with a darker red upon the lips. When I was looking at her yesterday, I couldn't help remarking that she looked so different. I love those God moments!! This one is a picture of the chest dresser my mom gave up for me to use in my old bedroom. I only had a small 4 drawer one in the basement. Anyway, this one was taken the week I had the vocation cross. I had also received a special gift from a friend with some Lourdes holy water, a prayer card and some information on a Shrine in St. Louis, Mo. The statue of Mary and Jesus belonged at one time to my paternal grandmother. The photo in the picture frame is the picture that survived the fire in the outdoor fireplace with only a smudge on the back of the picture. The only missing picture is the electric digital photo frame with the pictures of the many Eucharist images, a continuous reminder of the gift that was given to me.

Final Promise

Side view of Mother of God Monastery, West Springfield, MA
Front view of the Chapel entrance.
Blaire Hermans, Final Promise reciprient, in front of the office door.
Mary Ellen Stroud, Assistant President, 2nd Delegate to Regional Council.
Bernice (Marie Cecile) Stadtlander, Final Promise recipient.
James Platinitis, Final Promise recipient.

Photos missing: Maryellen Culver-Final Promise Recipient (updated)
Patricia Shea-Final Promise Recipient (updated)
Elizabeth Zellmer-Final Promise Recipient (updated)

From an album given from Chapter, picture taken at the beginning of formation 6 years ago as a Postulant.

Pondering

Tuesday was the first day for me to take part in Adoration at the Monastery. A beautiful hour in prayer. I did have an opportunity to speak with another member of our Lay Community, which aided me immensly. It had to do about people who cross our paths and witnessing. Which led to some thinking about what has taken place in my life regarding the Eucharist.

While taking a break from cleaning I took a moment to take a look at the pictures of the Eucharist that I have. After the talk the other day, I needed to take a look not just at the ones that play constantly in the digital picture frame, but go through each one and ponder what was given. I tell you I am always amazed at how truly awesome God is and how he gave such wondrous pictures. The time that it has taken for me to truly understand exactly the importance of this gift.

I've wondered so many times why was I given something so very special when I don't feel like I truly deserve it. What a call that was!!! Just like getting hit by a spiritual two by four. Talk about an awakening, wow. So here I am witnessing by writing, since when I verbally speak I tend to trip over my own tongue. Oh dear, even when I write I do that too, but hey no one is perfect even when God asks that of us those moments of flaws stand out like a black dot on a pure white garment.

A Work In Progress

After receiving emails with beautiful PowerPoint slide shows, I finally learned how to put one together. It's a work in progress with the pictures of the Eucharist, so far it's in the early stages. I just put some of the pictures and now it's placing them in chronological order. I did get to time them, there is no writing nor music yet. I didn't realize how much work and time it takes to put it all together. But the end result will be magnificent.

It's been a day of letting go too, I sent two pictures off to two people who belong to the Dominican chapter I belong to. They requested the one they wanted, unfortunately, I needed to obtain some ink in order to print them up. Off they went today to bring, hopefully, comfort and joy to their hearts. I placed one on the header of this blog and my other one, two different pictures of the Eucharist that God has given to me. I'm beginning to think it is almost time to show them. I know showing them was hard at the beginning, and time allowed me to learn as well as grow. A wonderful progress for sure.



The small garden that I planted is coming along nicely but the weeding is slow going. One would think they have a life of their own and want to grow just as much. There are some pole beans as well as bush beans, zucchini, yellow squash, tomatoes, green peppers, butternut squash, acorn squash and turnip. A very small garden with only a few of each. I think the most is two rows of string beans. All the rain we had enabled the seeds to sprout and flourish, climbing the pole already. God is so good.

I was surprised by a phone call today from Angel. I hadn't spoke to him since over a year ago. It was odd, since Saturday evening I had recently mentioned him in a conversation with Father Plasse about a mountain we had gone to one day. Amazing how God brings people into our lives. He said the most amazing thing to me, that I was a light that shone bright and I had touched his life. I'm just thankful that God touched mine so I could touch others. It's all for Him and through Him.

The First of Many

I didn't set the correct date on my camera when this was taken, it should be february 2, 2004. Once I interiorly knew to take a picture it took a little over a month to obtain a camera to do it. What I saw on the Eucharist was an image of Jesus posed with a beautiful robe. When this picture was taken I was surprised to see what looked like hay in the area of the body as if it were made for the child Jesus when he was born to lay in. This picture was given to Mrs. Lemek, per her request so she could show it to a friend. The pictures were shown to my Parish Priest Monsignor Gosselin.

Pictures

The first photo I took of the image I saw on the Eucharist at the beginning of January (correction should be February of 2004) 2004 in the early morning hours of the day. I wasn't prepared to see something else. What came out instead of a full body of Our Lord was what looks exactly like Jesus on hay in the body of the image. I never realized the significance of this, just like the others how much God has shed light on the truth of His Word. I've always believed so I had to understand that this was for some other reason entirely.

We are living in a world where Christmas is very commercialized and because of this many people have begun to hate Christmas. It hurts their pocketbook most of all. It brings a time of year that those whose financial means are already tight to look upon the season as one that in one day is questioned. And many do question the long hours of shopping for either an evening or day of present exchanging the why of it. Because of the high volumn of commercialism hatred for this time of year is prevalent in many hearts. My boss has even mentioned it as well, this very hatred. But I don't know the depth of why. One must assume it has to do with all the money we spend for a moment in time.

Yet the truth of what I saw on the Eucharist and what God has shown instead reveals even more the truth of Jesus' birth. And maybe that's why I am writing about it to reveal God's truth so others will see that this time of year is really all about Jesus and his coming into this world. What better gift we can offer the Holy Family on this very joyous occasion is our certainty about the gift God has given to us that wonderful night so long ago. Is part of our celebration going to be one where we will visit a Church and honor the Holy Family with our presence as the Magi and shepherds did. What stops us from going?

The Young

My dad came downstairs to get me to let me know there was deer on the front lawn, nursing. I grabbed my camera and these three pictures were all I could get. Believe me we were very quiet, but as soon as I took this first shot from the kitchen window, the feeding quickly ended. And the oddest thing happened while we watched, they turned directly toward the house. Unfortunately while my camera was processing this picture, I couldn't take the next one with them staring. It was awesome to see God's creatures. These were the quickest pictures I've ever taken and they came out a bit blurry but they still look good.

I wonder if I took a picture of the trees at the grotto while it was in video mode if it would have captured the dancing leaves last week. Unfortunately it wasn't on while we were doing the Rosary, but there were three witnesses to what was going on and they saw it. Now that would have been quite something wonderful to have captured on film. I love these moments when God's presence is known. Even when the deer show up.

Travels

Today's travels started with a visit to St. Anne Shrine in Sturbridge, MA where a visit to the gift shop is an added bonus. It also holds a room filled with Icon's that adjoins the shop. The visit started out in the Church with a moment in front of the Tabernacle pictured below.

Next is a visit to the relic of St. Anne with a special for all those who seek healing. Many have been healed coming to this Shrine.
There is a lovely votive Chapel where a candle can be lit to a Saint of your choice.
The Stations of the Cross are a delightful walk in a peaceful setting.
The wooded area allows for moments of wonderful contemplation in the shade of the noonday sun.
A replica of Our Lady of Lourdes Grotto.
The Holy Stairs
A view from the top.
A must visit to the Tabernacle in St. Patricks Chapel
From there my travels landed at Our Lady of Loreto Church in Worcester, MA where a duplicate is built.
The hours were posted on the building but admittance was not available at this time, since the door was locked. It would have been nice to pay a visit.
Another outside view.
My travels landed in New Hampshire in the nice mountains outside of Keene. This a picture on route 32 where the Keene Airport is located.
And finally as I was headed home I spotted crossing a side street a flock of wild turkeys, there were many small young ones. I wasn't exactly parked too well to catch a good shot.
There was point where I took a photo of the clouds with an amazing look to it. But by the time I managed to hang out the car and take a shot of it, it faded. I think most of all I enjoy traveling the back country roads where the trees are abundant and the air sweet smelling. What a dramatic change from the burbs near the cities to way up the mountains. It's like a home away from home. But one can only imagine how much Jesus loved the mountains when he went up one.

Heavenly Day

These photos are not all in chronological order. I throroughly enjoyed the ride to the mountains and spending quality time with our Lady and Jesus in quiet contemplation and solitude. Those are the days when drawing from the well spring of God's love always comes shining through. Like how a retreat refreshes the soul that thirsts for the Word of God in guidance and reflection. When I spend moments in quiet contemplation and solitude I reflect on the many times Jesus did the same when he would leave the apostles behind and go up the mountain to place himself in the hands of God. To unburden and refresh himself from all those he ministered to. When I received an e mail about being Alone with God, I had to think about the contents of it.

Today's travels were exactly what was needed to bring the results of that message. It was tough reading material, but at a time when the world can often invade a soul and evil attempts to destroy the peace of God within. Such as when material possesions seem to take over lives. The harmony that is part of living in God goes off balance. Those reflective journeys can often be consolations when it is done seeking the will of God for the greater glory of his love and his kingdom.

Last night I was cleaning out my favorites and checking out some dead links and came across a song that Gabrielle found, it is the one called "I, the Lord" by Tom Kendzia. The moment I heard it brought back so much truth to what I have experienced and what I have denied myself about. As I listened to that song I had to realize that in this journey I have learned and grown about the love of God in a very personal way. He captivated my heart as a friend, a husband. And I love him with all my heart. I will follow him always. I gladly take his hand and walk by his side.

Covered bridge on Rte 30 outside of Brattleboro, Vermont. Our Lady of Ephesus, House of Prayer, Jamaica, Vermont.
Our Lady of Ephesus, House of Prayer, Jamaica, Vermont.
Now that's a beautiful view of the mountains in the distance with the Cross in the foreground.
Placque at the entrance to the replica.
Interior view of the entrance from the Altar.
A beautiful Icon of our Lady and Jesus.
Exterior view of the Replica of the House of Ephesus.
The interior side room where the Bible is open to Ephesians.
View from the side room.
Front view of the Replica.
The Altar with a Statue of Mary.

Awesome Day

This one is looking toward the old sugar shack and the relic of a farm tractor. That path was heavily grown in.
This one is heading toward the overgrown and filled in with sediment small pond, err stream now. This too was a narrow walk.
This is the over grown pond stream with freshly cut back grass and tall weeds as well as some of those wild rose picker bushes. At one time we could walk along the stream. But those picker bushes grew to fast to keep them clear. Now it will be a chore to make a walking path. This spot was quite nice when my grandfather was alive, he cleared a lot of brush and made it so pretty. Thirty years has a way of growing back nature when we don't keep it up.

These past two days have been busy one's. Yesterday after tackling the laundry, it was a nice drive to Keene, New Hampshire to meet up with Sister Juanita. I think that meeting went well. It turned out to be a nice day and a nicer ride home.

But this morning I was out the door after 8 this morning to get the mowing done. I finally finished late afternoon. This was a major mowing since we have the riding one back. What a difference it makes. But I still used the push mower for areas that are closest to the woods. Last week I was able to prune back some rhododendrons, this week it was pick up the cuttings. I didn't get a chance to prune some more since it took me over 5 hours to mow and clean up last weeks mess of clippings.

The pictures are of the overgrown area that once looked like a park, now it looks like nature at it's best. When I pruned a bush yesterday I was able to see a cute lime green frog clinging to a branch. That's the first time I've ever seen one like that. God does have a beautiful way of arranging nature and making critters.

My vegetable garden is all natural this year, a tiny tomato has made it's appearance, the lettuce is growing in containers this year. No fence around the garden, and good thing the lettuce is not there either. The area rabbit has eaten the kale and brussel sprout plants. They might come back since I put the leaves from the rhodies around them to hide them. I don't know if that will work but it's worth a try. The chipmunk has been having dessert with the strawberries.

Then when all that wonderful yard work was completed we dined out and now I finally am relaxing. One thing I enjoyed was the physical yard work. I never felt so alive as I did outdoors with God and the clean air from the trees. I noticed that yesterday also on my drive home, the difference where there are more trees and in the areas there are less. Maybe that's why Jesus loved the mountains so much. It was not only cooler but fresher in air and much closer to God.

The Olive Branch

When I was doing this mornings writing, it was about Noah and the olive branch. In one of my pictures of the Eucharist the first pictures taken of what should have been the very likeness of Jesus in a pose, came out instead with a dove holding a branch in it's beak in the area of his body. At least that is what I saw on there. So the many pictures that I took all came out different showing different things. This was one of the first one's when it was Jesus I saw on the Host. I had to wonder what was wrong with my camera because it wasn't giving me what I was seeing on the Host. They were all coming out different.

This particular one definitely had a dove and a branch as part of the body no doubt about it. And each one is unique. I am discovering in my life today how it all ties in with the Bible. I didn't see it and didn't even understand what those pictures were showing me. What I mean is, what I saw I didn't understand what I was seeing. Some people may never see anything on them at all. That is the beauty of what He did. I even tested the camera by taking pictures of another Host too, those came out normal. So why did they come out this way in the one place of Adoration that He touched my heart. I even questioned that too, if I saw what I saw there wouldn't I see him elsewhere as well. This is how I thought, it was hard for me to come to grips with the knowledge of His blessing. I'm not making an issue about it, but trying to make a period in my life more clear. When we are being groomed by God it is done in His time, not ours.

Well anyway, in this regard I have begun to see through His eyes what it's all about. The truth of the Bible and His hand in it. It's amazing but I really did feel as if I was a child in swadling clothes after it all began. That's when I believe he began to teach me of the many truths about so much. I can honestly say I had faith, but I began to see it through his eyes. And that's when I saw things so very differently. I know one thing that when I erred in life, I have always regretted my sin more than it was possible to regret. I'm no different than anyone else in this life. Nothing is easy but the suffering is far different than what others will have.

Back to what I originally started to write about, the olive branch. The symbol of peace. I've always believed that God wants us to live in peace, to have peace in our world. Don't we understand that when he sends us Mary and she speaks of peace exhorting us to pray for it. That's what he wants for us to live amongst each other and to live in His love. His love is that great for us to want us to have a valuable gift in His eyes. The gift of peace, as the dove bears the olive branch in Noahs time, he has done so for us too.

Mary and Jesus Garden

Okay it's not exactly a perfect flower garden, I never did say I was a garden designer. But it will do. At least it will be in partial shade. This is a first, usually it's a small batch in a few containers that dress the walkway. So this year they are dressing the ground. This is the back side of the house and the part that seems to have some green mold attaching itself as well. The bucket and scrub brush to wash away the colorfull stuff.




The perenials that I dug up are now gracing this wall with a few added flowers to brighten it up. There are tulip and lily bulbs freshly transplanted from the other flower garden. My car is dressing up the side of the wall as well. Poor thing was damaged a few times when the temporary car shelter hit it. But then again it's only material and not a life. So it's not a big deal. It was a long day and an early night.