Days

Sometimes we don't always get to have perfect days, yet we make it possible to get by anyway. It was a tough one today as the nausea started again, so it was a day where I felt comfortable laying down and resting rather than sitting up. I often wonder how those who have lived in Jesus' time managed when they were ill. What did they do for their upset stomachs or their fevers and such. Since we are in the age of drugs and chemicals to prevent just about anything, I assume that way back when they had the natural remedies that kept them going. A far better solution than polluting our bodies with chemicals that mask things rather than take care of the problem.

I still like by far is Jesus bringing healing to the people of his time. Even now he brings healing when we pray and ask for his divine intervention. Sometimes we don't get physical healing but we might get spiritual healing or emotional healing, depending on what he feels is best for us at the time. Even asking our Blessed Mother for help on behalf of her son is a very good thing. She loves Jesus very much and wishes we would all go through him to get closer to the Father.

God is amazing, especially since he gave us his Son and so much more. I don't think there is a day that we go through that isn't touched by God in a special way. Just waking up in the morning is a blessing and going to sleep at night resting in the palm of his hand. Loving God and the heavenly family is such a joy. I am glad to be part of the picture that he created me and gave me his love. Life would not be the way it is if God were not part of it all. Maybe someday people will wake up and realize the greatest gift we all have is the love of God and what he gave to mankind.

The Art of Prayer

One thing I am grateful for is prayer, especially the Rosary to our Blessed Mother. No matter what we go through in our lives it is a blessing to be able to do this wonderful set of prayers. She brings comfort and hope in our everyday life. It's a beautiful way to start the day and a beautiful way to end it. I also enjoy speaking with Jesus and God most of all. I often ask the Holy Spirit to guide on my way. I know lately my blog has been part in focus of my recent situation along with my faith as well and my insecurities regarding my others issues that concern me. I have surrendered it all to our Loving God.

I went for an injection today after having chemotherapy yesterday. This injection will help boost my white blood cells so they will not go down, hopefully and not end up back in the hospital neutropenic. This injection can cause some discomfort or mild pain in the bones as it aids the bone marrow to produce the white blood cells. One thing I didn't expect was to have to learn all about this disease of cancer and all that it entails, but that is why prayer is so tantamount when we come across obstacles that mar the way in life.

One thing for sure that I do know of is that Jesus is my best friend in all the world. I know he would never hurt me or cause me suffer in any extreme way. It is only my sin that would cause the anguish and anxiety for not trusting enough to let go and let God do his will in my life. I pray constantly for strength to always do his will and to seek our Blessed Mothers blessing with all my heart and soul for her constant love. Let our blessed Mother be your guide as well and pray to her daily. Don't forget to also pay our Lord a visit in the Tabernacle or Blessed Sacrament at any Adoration Chapel and speak to him from your heart and let him speak back.

Animals

Animals are uncanny, they seem to know things without letting on. My dog Oscar and my moms dog Casey have both been by my side since I've come home from chemotherapy. They seem to know the body aches and what is going on before we do. Oscar has been a God send in many ways. He thinks he is a lap dog for a huge Pug, 24 pounder if that matters, he is big for a pug. Anyway the last few days I haven't felt well and they seem to have known, they look at me with love and come on lets play to take your mind off things.

If it is only that easy when having a sleepless night of anxiety worrying about the next treatment and what can occur. Luckily, I found out they will be giving me an injection the next day to boost the immune system, this I hope works and I don't end up back in the hospital for a low white cell count. I have faith in God and his son Jesus and Our blessed Mother to get me through all the trials I will endur. I offer them up for the holy souls in Purgatory. I have prayed often of what I have been called to do and hope that the Holy Spirit will guide me as I set out on the journey.

Waiting Game

I saw my doctor yesterday and was told no work for another two weeks to aid in healing after removing the breast expander because the chemotherapy will bring my immune system down. When I walked my dog Oscar on the road yesterday I had a delightful visit when my Human Resources person was driving by. We had a chat and a hug and I nearly broke down and cried because of being away from work for so long.

I would not have thought it was going to be this long a road already, but I have to remind myself I have other health issues that mar the way. I wanted to believe that all was going to go well but I was only lying to myself in that regard. I have kept a positive outlook about it all and then reality sets in and the tiredness envelopes me. I want to be able to go out and not feel tired, to go and see places and do so much for God and his kingdom. Yet, as I sit here typing this I have to realize that I am doing something wonderful for his kingdom by bearing witness to what transpired since the end of 2003. The remarkable visit I received and also the vision of Jesus in the Eucharist with the pictures as proof.

What I love the most is the one picture that was taken and was captured as a film is seeing him talk via the video. When I took a walk in the woods as I used to and then pausing for reflection looking off into the distance, I thought about this grace that was given and I thanked him for choosing me among the many in the world to be one of his witnesses. It may have taken me years to overcome so much in the way of battling the evil one and the many attempts to stop me from talking about him and showing his face to others. St. Michael has been a tremendous support along with out Blessed Mother to aid me in the battle.

God is love in every sense of the word, he provides so much even when we don't often see it. He conquered my heart and made me his, he accepted my human failings and gave me his undying love. I love God with all my heart and soul, I just cannot do enough for him to say thank you and show my gratitude for what he has done for me.

Rosary

Lately I have been compeled to do the 15 decades of the Holy Rosary. I have found immense comfort doing this by myself and with my parents in the evening. The trials we all are going through at this time are a bit much. My Uncle who recently lost his wife, sent my mom a package regarding cremation and funeral stuff for her to look over. I was at one time under the impression that they had pre-made their arrangements but was told no, they only took care of the burial plot. Sometimes when talk of this sort arises it foretells of what may be coming, hopefully not in the too near future.

Watching my mom and dad as I recover my own illness has opened my eyes to how much they undergo and suffer daily, the many sacrifices they have given up to care for me. Myself as well have basically given up my personal life to assist them with their care as well even when on the mend. It's the small stuff that I am able to help them with, such as taking care of their medicines or doing laundry without having to lift that much. We each in our own way help each other out. Sometimes with words of encouragement to eat and stay strong, words to say thank you for all that you do.

What I am grateful for is the family I was given on this earth to be my guide when I am lost and alone. They hold me when there is no one to support me in my joys and sorrows. They help me to see a brighter day when I feel like I am loosing the battle financially when the doctors bills come in and I find it hard to give up what little I have. Then I have to recall the story of the woman giving her last for the kingdom of God and that brings me hope and better sense of faith. Sometimes these things are too heavy a burden and yet I still smile and go on and see how God provides the birds who have nothing. I find myself enthralled with nature and how God has blessed us with so much and yet we take it all for granted. I think now more than ever I am even more grateful to have nothing, because I can appreciate what God wants me to see in what he made.

So as I go on and realize that not only is God important but so is the one he chose to give us his Son Jesus, our loving Blessed Mother Mary, the one without sin.

Divine Physician

I was all set to receive round two of chemotherapy, but was told due to having a drain in it will be postponed for another week. Hopefully by Friday the drain will be out and the next treatment will begin on Monday. It's one thing to pay visits to physicians but often I would rather be paying the Divine Physician a visit to have him treat me in the many ways Jesus does. He takes care of the spiritual as well as the physical.

I had to follow up today with my primary care doctor because of my recent hospital stay, I actually get to see him in four months rather than three, so I asked him why and he said because I have a lot on my plate right now. I suppose I do, yet it doesn't feel like it. Can it be the peace I feel regarding everything including giving up praying about finances and letting go and letting God take over what I cannot control or handle at this time. I gave my illness over to HIM to take care of me as per HIS Will. Even the Blessed Mother has a special part in all of it. Without her we would not have Jesus. Her "YES" resounds deeply in my heart, because I understand how possible it was to be overshadowed by the HOLY SPIRIT.

Our Blessed Mother is a very special lady and I hope more people will come to love her and her son as much as I do.

Praying For Our Priest

It's not an easy thing to hear when we find out a priest takes their own life. Knowing how wrong it is and still they do it. What drives them to go to such lengths to stop living? Yet, they are not the only ones who have done this. Regular people have done the same. It is an area that no one seems to be able to find out why unless the person survives and talks about what they are facing to get the help they need. I wonder about those who take that route, do they seek help or just leave clues for others to direct them to the help.

Recently in our area we had a Priest who took his own life and that left behind many people who cared about him wondering why, because he was so well liked. Maybe that is why our Blessed Mother wants us to pray for her priests, so they will have the strength to do God's work and to fight the evil that assails them. Prayers that help them constantly. When we stop praying for others and especially for our priests, we don't help them. It's like leaving them to their own devices to fight the battle alone, a sad existence then. It already is hard for the priest today with so much that has gone on in the world to make their job even harder.

It is with hope that we as catholics and christians alike pray for our priests and ministers to aid them with the task of being sheperds of the flock.

Love

These past few days have been a whirlwind of sorts. My sister had her surgery Thursday and did very well. I had my appointment on Friday and am still out of work at this time. Then for something really good, I took a necklace of St. Anthony to use to hold my drain while taking a shower. I didn't take it off and was looking for a prayer book that seems to have gone missing. I found instead my nearly three year missing social security card that I didn't place in the location it was found.

So dear St. Anthony thank you for your assistance in finding this lost item. You came to my aid when I requested it. I am still wearing the necklace with the medal of St. Anthony.

At this point I suppose God only knows why things are coming about in this way and for being out for an extended period. My Doctor had mentioned he had never met anyone like me before, I thought that was really nice of him to say so. So far many people I have met have mentioned how bubbly I am considering what I am going thru. How else is one supposed to be? I believe I mentioned about joining a Breast Cancer support group with many in various stages of cancer. I should say that after struggling with diabetes and then having a heart attack with open heart surgery, I can count my blessings to be alive and now I find this also is an opportunity to change some bad eating habits and hopefully bring about a brighter future if it is God's plan for me.

I have found that I my blood sugar has done so much better as I change those habits. What a difference and all it took was a change in diagnosis and the possibility of having it much worse. Luckily they did get it out and now the next step is to conquer any rogue cells. And that too is in God's hands. I place my trust in him all the way. I have a great support system within my spiritual family, my heavenly father has brought me thru so much already and continues to love me inspite of my sinfullness at times. My heavenly mother holds my hand on those days when I need her and no one is around to comfort or care. The Holy Spirit is ever present to guide me as I walk this path in life and most of all I have Jesus my heavenly love who gives me the trust I need to get thru the moments of doubt. This family also gave me the love and support of the family they gave me to have on this earth.

We all have come to see that God's presence in our lives is very special, for me it is good to see that they believe most of all. I would like to thank those who read this blog and offer up prayers on behalf of myself and my sister and brothers and mother and father and all those near to me. Your prayers are what help us all get thru each day, one moment at a time.

Blessed Mother

I was pondering what I may write when so many things presented themselves in thought. Yet, as I gazed up toward the ceiling I saw small statue on a shelf of our Blessed Mother. This one is Our Lady of LaSalette sitting and holding her head crying. In that moment I was touched profoundly and I began to understand why she appeared crying.

When looking back at the time period she appeared and then now, it's easy to know the depths of her tears. We are in and part of a world that always seeks to receive the gifts of others but fails to share in that giving. Or the numerous ways people fail to love one another by seeking to cause hurt, pain and suffering. Reflecting upon our Blessed Mother and her tears, it wasn't hard to see the many ways we inflict those tears.

Look at how many go to Mass but fail to reconcile themselves by not going to confession. How many receive communion in a state of sin. That alone would cause our blessed Mother to cry. Just imagine how our own mothers react when we say or do something that brings tears to her eyes. That should make us think about the reasoning behind why we are inflicting those tears in the first place and for what purpose.

For me I have a devotion to our Blessed Mother in two ways, one is to Our Lady of LaSalette for reconciliation and the other is to Our Lady of Lourdes for healing, whether it be physical or spiritual. She will always guide us in the right direction when it is sought with our heart.

My Beloved

We hear songs but often fail to notice the beauty of the song and the words that are imparted or even notice how it moves the soul. Yet, there are moments some songs stir the spirit within to know the beauty of how much God gives us. This song, done beautifully by John Michael Talbot, has done just that, stirred the soul when these words are sung about. My spirit exalts in God my savior, for he has looked with mercy on my lowliness. How deeply these words touch my heart. Our blessed Mother first spoke these words long ago when she was chosen by God to be the Mother of Jesus. None can compare to what God has done for her. With understanding in how truly magnificent God works, my soul too rejoices in these words when I hear them. A sinner such as I, can rejoice in God my savior for he looked upon this lowly servant and gave so much of Himself.

My dearest blessed Mother, I honor you for allowing me to be part of your sons life. I honor God my father for chosing me to be his. A bride of his heart. I have chosen Him above all else in the world. I yearn for him always, my thoughts are on Him constantly. There is no rest nor respite for the constant longing my soul endures. Those precious moments when absolute joy surrounds my heart, I know that is when he kisses my soul with his love. It is then that I too who exalts in God my savior.

La Salette Shrine

Sometimes days don't always start out so good especially when there is a need for spiritual cleansing. Not always knowing for certain the why of it, but the end result is a renewal. All I knew is I needed reconciliation. Yesterday morning I thought about going to an area Church that offers confession and toyed with the thought of heading to Stockbridge to the Divine Mercy Shrine as well. But the thought of LaSalette poked through so I grabbed my camera and headed east. I even managed to take the wrong exit to get there and found myself on a very busy route 1 and attempted to hopefully get there in time to receive the Sacrament of Penance before Mass.

It was close for sure with less than ten minutes to pay a visit to the restroom then to the Reconciliation Chapel and then hopefully be in the Church before Mass. The timing all came about beautifully too. Part of God's plan for sure. I have found that when things happen according to his plan things flow very smoothly.

The Nativity scene is absolutely beautiful as shown by this picture.

Part of the evening included a 45 minute concert by Father Pat, but my eyes tend to focus on the central figure that is hanging on the Cross or the tabernacle where our Lord is ever present.



This one is in the direction of the Stations of the Cross and the outdoor Chapel where the Creche is. A statue of Jesus is holding the large anchor. I took quite a few pictures but most of them came out very dark. I used the flash too. Some of the pictures inside the Church came out dark too, but the inside lighting was also lower. This year it seems the season of lights are extended to Epiphany which is January 4. So if anyone in the surrounding area would like they are more than welcome to see for themselves a beautiful setting on Holy Ground.

Include a visit to one of Father Pat's concerts it's amazing how words can touch a heart. For the past few years I have experienced quite a bit when attending a concert, this time as well. "Holy Light" was quite strong and this is on a second time that it came across again. Sometimes I wonder what significance they have for me. Just like when I receive them in my sleep or at Mass. I think I was in denial about this gift and the relating of it over the years. I didn't understand it too well, but then again when God chooses his time to reveal things to a heart he does it magnificently. One thing that being at Mass or in a Church is the joy that I feel when I am doing God's will.

What I would like to do is also invite those who read this blog to also listen to Father Pat's beautiful music and hopefully obtain a DVD called "Tears of Love" a delightful video with very beautiful songs about Mary. It's all about our Blessed Mother and her love for us. After all she said "Yes" and gave us Jesus. Without her we all would be in the dark.

Advent Begins

Today Advent begins and so does the ongoing journey with our blessed Mother. I have focused most of my journey on God because he is the one I love the greatest. I have not forgotten the Mother of all mothers, she has been beside me also. I have found so much a blessing in the way of how God chose our dear Mother and the way he achieved to bring our Lord to life.

The journey she too went on to fulfill, doesn't it make us all wonder about the greatness of God. I don't wonder about how he did what he did, because I too have undergone something in a way that I understand how truthful the Gospel speaks of the Divine. How truly possible it all is. I know how hard it is to grasp the enormity of God's love for mankind and how he can select a single person out of so very many and give to her the responsibility of bearing His Son. It is the mystery of how he did it that has often made us wonder about the truth of the telling.

If my life wasn't touched personally by God I would have no right to speak of this, but since I have had the grace to have been given His Love and to have been touched by His Spirit, I can understand how it came about for our Blessed Mother. In no way do I place myself close to what she has undergone for us. I can only say one thing it's true and possible. When I look back at my own encounter I am reminded each time of our Blessed Mother and her "YES" to God. In my own smallness and sinfulness I did not want to see and fought the truth of God's choosing. It is by the grace of God and the miracle he has given me that enables me to relate to what he has done for our Blessed Mother.

So on this first day of Advent the journey truly begins, because love is born. By the way that happens to be the theme this year at the Shrine of La Salette in Attleboro. An appropriate theme because our Beloved Pope Benedict XVI had given us his first encyclical on Love and this second one on Hope. They are both magnificent encyclicals and they are born by his tremendous faith in God. He is a blessing to us all and may God continue to be his guide on this Advent journey we all are on.