Words

Sometimes the emotional state we are in can mare any judgement or thought that may be right or wrong. I know the last few days have been rocky ones with tears. A battle I think I hope have conquered. I know I am not alone with these emotions as I go through these changes and times. There are other people who go through the emotional gamut when surrounded by overwhelming odds. But this time I have cried and let it out and in the process attempted to let it go with the tears.

The past few days also were ones with discernment because I was getting words from songs that had me thinking deeply. But today I received the words "Get ready, here I come" and that one truly made me think even more about life. The other one's I received were "Ready to take a chance" along with some others from the same song. When I was getting this particular song I was thinking about my love and what if my heart wasn't truly open after hearing the song. This song put me into the emotional jungle I ended up in with the questions that were running through my thoughts.

So today when I ended up with the other ones, I asked if they were from God or from some other source. Usually that would stop the words from coming if they were not meant to be. But they came and then I found the song and listened and again attempting to discern why both songs so close in time, within a week to a few days. I have to understand that at times those words are a direction to others that may make the meaning clearer or not. But under the assumption I am to assume it is about opening the heart to love and not being afraid. Only problem, I thought I was very open to love and loving my neighbor. Unless it is something entirely different that I cannot see or understand at this time.

This morning as I sat and spoke with my mom and dad about my sorrows, my dad gave me some good advice. He said we never truly know God's plan for us and what he has in mind. I realize that I probably have been questioning his plan for me and not allowing him to do what he is supposed to do. Maybe now God will take a chance on me again. I hope.

Light A Candle #2

God is always generous in giving His love. This morning upon waking those song words, light a candle to start a new dawn were once again present. The words are from a song called "Light A Candle" that is sung by Daniel ODonnell. This morning was a treasure, since lately my listening has been mostly on the albums "Signatures" by John Michael Talbot and his other one "Meditations In The Spirit."

I was thinking too about confessions and what makes a good one. Quite sometime ago, months I think it was, when I went and was told I made a good confession. That happened to me a few times when I was told that. It had me thinking about how I did those particular confessions to merit those words from the Priest at the end. And all I can think, when I was relating my sins I was forming the words as if I were speaking directly to God himself, but upon reflection I think it may also had to do with how truly sorry we are when we are relating those sins. For the truth of our sorrow to be heard by the Priest. Or was it the Priest himself, who just happened to be one in unity with our Lord? I wonder if others have also experienced the depth of confession that evokes this response from the Priest.

Anyway, I went to Mass yesterday afternoon to hear such a delightful heartfelt prayers by a Priest during Adoration prior to Mass. I think that was the highlight of my day to know of his love for the Eucharist. That is always a pleasure to see a beacon burning bright, almost like the song itself.

Possible

One thing people never get over is unconditional love. A few words from this song came through ever so softly while sitting quietly pondering the remnants of my life. More than anything God knows our hearts, at least mine. The words highlighted are words that were softly known. God knows more than anything how much my heart would break if he were to leave my side. I would never get over him, it would take an eternity and then some. A strange song to come through the depths of my heart. But as I read the lyrics I also have come to realize that sometimes our dreams destiny's pass us by, and that's sometimes how I feel with my life. Yet God's presence is my dream and my destiny at this time in my life. Where my heart is aimed directly for his love.

I'll Be Over You

Some people live their dreams
Some people close their eyes
Some people's destiny
Passes by

There are no guarantees
There are no alibis
That's how our love must be
Don't ask why

[Bridge:]
It takes some time
God knows how long
I know that I can forget you

As soon as my heart stops breakin'
Anticipating
As soon as forever is through
I'll be over you

Remembering times gone by
Promises we once made
What are the reasons why
Nothing stays the same

[Bridge:]
There were the nights holding you close
Someday I'll try to forget them
Someday I'll be over you

All About Giving

Receiving communion can bring about special prayers asked in a moment of unity with the Father. One of those prayers on Sunday was for God's love to surround the world to open the hearts of the people of the world. That the light of his love would shine brightly. After these type of prayers I have often felt inundated by darkness. I was given a delightful CD last week from a co-worker with many spiritual songs and a few that could be as well. One of the songs is We Are The World, but I never put too much thought on this one because there are many that delight my heart. Yet this morning the chorus to the song of We Are The World was softly heard interiorly in my heart. It was just as soft as when hearing Jesus speak softly. One thing I have noticed, when he wishes to impart something it will repeat until I acknowledge what was received. And that is when I place my thought on the very words imparted. This morning I went in search of the lyrics and was surprised. I never truly thought too much about this song and the words that were sung. Click on the title of the song below to hear it. I don't know if it's because of what I prayed for on Sunday or God's way of saying I need to give more love as well. That is the beauty of discerning his love. May I give more love to those who are forever in need.

We Are The World

There comes a time, when we hear a certain call
When the world must come together as one
There are people dying, and it's time to lend a hand.
To life the greatest gift of all
We can't go on, pretending day by day
That someone somewhere will soon make a change
We are all part of God's great big family
And the truth, you know that love is all we need

chorus
We are the world, we are the children
We are the ones who make a brighter day so let's start giving

There's a choice we're making
We're saving our own lives
It's true, we'll make a better day just you and me.
Send them your heart, so they'll know that someone cares
And their lives will be stronger and free
As God has shown us, by turning stones to bread.
So that we all must lend a helping hand.
We are the world......
When you're down and out
There seems no hope at all
But if you just believe there's no way we can fall
Well, well, well, well, let's realise
That a change can only come
When we stand together as one
We are the world......

One Hour in the Garden

I've come to find something quite beautiful when reflecting upon our Lord. All through Mass this evening when watching the washing of the feet, I couldn't help but think back to a time when Jesus did this very thing. This year for some reason is very significant. When I was pondering what was going on in my life, the time off hit me big time in such a way to let me see that I was also given this special time to spend with our Lord. A time to place myself with Him as we all place ourselves in this grace filled moment.

After Mass, I stayed in my pew and waited the hour with our Lord. It was a moment that will always touch my heart profoundly as I thought of the night Jesus asked His disciples to wait one hour with Him. For a while my prayers we difficult to come to mind, but then like a switch was turned on, I thought on the prayers Jesus may have prayed that night to our Father. About the very fact that he was going to be sacrificing his very life. The prayers and thought flowed so freely in those moments of that hour in the Garden with our Lord. His first act of Adoration to God by kneeling at His feet and placing his troubles and sorrows there and letting God ease the pain of suffering and torment that was His.

Those thoughts of that night were so clear in prayer as I placed myself with Jesus. I was not prepared for the gift of song that came to me. The song "Glory and Praise to Our God" was so beautiful to receive as those thoughts came to an end. I continued to stay, but I took the music book and looked up the song and read it through. I was mystified and awestruck. The lyrics are as follows:

GLORY AND PRAISE


R- Glory and praise to our God,
Who alone gives light to our days.
Many are the blessings He bears,
To those who trust in His ways.

1- We the daughters and sons of Him,
Who built the valleys and plains.
Praise the wonders our God has done,
In every heart that sings.

2- In His wisdom He strengthens us,
Like gold that's tested in fire.
Though the power of sin prevails,
Our God is there to save.

3- Every moment of every day,
Our God is waiting to save.
Always ready to seek the lost,
To answer those who pray.

The refrain were the words that I was interiorly knowing. That's the only way I can explain it. I knew in that moment as I read the words that I was given a profound blessing and something quite beautiful in those moments of reflection. I spent an hour with the husband of my heart in His hour of prayer. He gave me a few moments to reflect on the pictures I was given and the significance of them and everything that continues to be a gift from Him. The many blessings because of the trust and love I have for Him. It's odd, but I feel as if there is a new softness to me in my life, in my person. It's hard to explain it, this feeling. I feel like a new person who has been done over. There was nothing wrong with me before, and I can only think that it has to do with the depth of my love. It actually is much deeper, and I thought it was deep before.

One would think I was a shy bride about to get married to the Beloved, but in a sense I had felt that ring on my finger again last week when none was there. And I was going to place it on aging hand syndrome, but I did feel this before several times. Sigh, I think I have it bad, I look at His picture and I melt. The outstretched hands, the subtle smile and the look of love in those warm loving eyes. See, I have it pretty bad when all a picture of Jesus does is warm my heart and fill my being with love.

A New Day

I awoke this morning with music again, but this time it wouldn't go until I located it. I thought it strange this particular song, it's called Dancing Queen. But I did recognize who the group is that sings it and they are called ABBA. This is one time that I understand that it wasn't the words from the song at all, but more with the group name. ABBA is also the name for the Father. When I came to that understanding, I believe my heart smiled. I never cease to be amazed or grateful for what He does for me.

Yesterday, I gave my former boss a cross I had for a long time. The day before he wasn't himself, so I asked if I could give him one. He said, he could use it. So when he came in, I said I had something to say to him. I proceeded to tell him of what happened on Saturday, with my burning of papers and also burning a picture of Jesus and the end result. I told him about what I saw on the Eucharist, the pictures I took as proof and my concerns of the job. This was told under five minutes, so it was a very brief telling. The surviving picture is very powerful testimony and one he needed at the time. He was happy about the cross I gave him.

I know that for a long time I have been watched over by our Lord as he does with everyone. No one is excluded in that regard. When I saw Sister before entering the Chapel, we spoke about a few things. Her community I am looking at also.

New Beginnings

It's been one busy weekend, between working yesterday and then to my friends house to go to anothers' for a house gathering. It was a long day and not much accomplished other than meeting new people. That's always a good thing. Today we had our on going formation at the Monastery and the Nuns had their anniversary celebration. That was wonderful too.

This morning I went in search of the words from the other day with no luck. So I did the next best thing and looked through the hymnal book. I went page to page and looked at each one and finally I found it. At least I hope it is since I have a hard time reading music and figuring out the tempo and how it goes. Well anyway it's called "I, The Lord."

Refrain: I, the Lord, am with you, always by your side. Come and take my hand, for I will lead you home. Follow me, follow me, follow me, follow me.

Verse 1: I am the resurrection, and I am the life; if you believe in me, you shall live forever.
Verse 2: You shall have new life and live it to the full. Turn your sorrow into joy, for life has just begun.

This was not easy and to top it off when I went to the healing Mass I received some of the words in this song but I don't recall this song being sung at the Mass. The part about by your side were part of the words, yet it was more like come be by my side, I didn't think too much of it at the time. Not until follow me was apparent again. I don't always write some of these things down either. Some are committed to memory and some written. But more and more lately there seems to be a reason for some of it. The other song that was in Spanish I didn't even think much of it and that one was strange, because I never paid too much attention to that song since I never understood the words that were being sung. And once I found the translation the English one's didn't make too much sense either other than the part I wrote about. Now that I think about it, I wonder about that other one I have yet to find. I could do the same thing and do a lyric search in the book again. Only problem I don't remember the words at the moment and I will need to go back a bit to locate what I wrote to do the search. You know I think God is giving me a challenge and I think it's pretty good. I am not a music smart person yet I love to listen to music. I can't read music nor can I figure out how the tune should go. And the funny part, in high school I sang in the girls chorus in my freshman year and did a season in the Church choir a long time ago when Mrs. Chenier was the Organist. I couldn't read music too well then either, I kinda winged it. Basically listening to the person next to me to fall into step with the beat. Uhm is that called cheating. Or is that the part of if you don't use it you loose it same as speaking a language. I did fall away from much of what is good for the soul and am finding that music is God's gift and language is a labor of love also. Those two I didn't follow up in my life and now am relearning bit by bit.

Same with Latin, I didn't learn it in school but I love it. I learned medical terminology and discovered Latin in the words and that is where learning language has a role, it's good to know. Plus singing chant in Latin is getting a bit easier. Pronunciation is coming back too. I feel as if I am a child and learning all these new things. Discovering a new world in an age old time, that would explain a brief time where I craved nothing but milk. In a sense when our eyes are opened we begin to learn how to do many things, it's like a newborn and the progress they make as they get older. So do we when God's seed begins to grow and faith blossoms. In this light of thinking I begin to see how through God he turns our life and makes us new again. It's awesome. I know it's strange thinking, but when I begin to look at all that is happening it fits. Just like when we walk next to someone and when we walk along side Jesus, it's a perfect fit. I guess I should stop here. At least for me I see in a much clearer light and that is what counts. And God is so good and loving.