I posted the above saying on October 19, 2014 after 7 am. It didn't dawn on me at all until much later in the day what had occured on my walk in the second picture. In the distance there a brook that branches in two directions below an old railroad tressel. As I was walking the dogs that morning about where I was standing when I took this picture, in the distance up on the tressel i saw a figure in bright white that moved to the right and lost from sight. It wasn't a short coat type of look but a full length one and very bright. Anyway, i didn't think much about it except when I took the dogs for a walk again later and when i looked again it was as if the trees obscured the area to where I saw this white figure, no clear way to see. Later I looked back at my facebook post and I had a wow moment and realized how God does do something spectacular for us to say exactly what the first picture says, "I Know that was you God, Thank you"
It has been a few years since my last post, almost sounds like a confession there. Anyway, I have decided to give it a try once again. I am cancer free!! Awesome feeling that is. Also found out I have depression which would make sense out of many things from before. The stigma of depression scared the heck out of me because I suppose we all want to be normal in so many ways. It's kinda funny since my body is no longer normal either, physical scars mar it too. But God loves me the way I am anyway. That alone is a beautiful thought.
So here is to new beginnings and the hope that my Soul's longings will always be one with God.
When a person is under the influence of pain there isn't much they want to do, at least for me that is true. I must say that healing is going very well at this time. The open wound has been steadily getting smaller for the past three to four weeks. What an improvement since the end of October of 2011, praise God for that. I haven't felt much like writing or even being on the internet in the past few weeks, even though I thought I would be back, I found myself basically contemplating about many things. Most of all I have enjoyed my dogs companionship when I haven't felt well. The pooch sensed when I was out of sorts and hurting more than usual he would stay even closer.
That reminded me of how much God and Jesus are truly close to us when we seem far away and out of sync because of illness. I began contemplating this closeness in a different way and found my prayers had also changed with this as well. It's as if I was discovering something new about how to pray. I also began to understand that everything happens in Gods time and not ours. When he wants things to be acomplished he makes it happen, not when we try to force the issue. I feel like I was recharged spiritually with this illness and this paticular time period. Maybe that is what I needed to learn with this illness. To discover a new depth of contemplation along with understanding how much God truly loves us all.
I have been sleeping in a chair recliner since I've been home from the hospital. I have placed my laptop on a tv tray for easier use and comfort. Unfortunately as I have found out since being home and in this type of arrangement makes it nice for my dog to occupy most to all of my time.
He has taken every opportunity to lay on my lap while I'm reclining and or sitting. Talk about a dogs love! After being gone for more than a month I think he is making up for lost time. I love it! Except it also stops me from sitting and using the laptop on the tv tray so my time has been on when he is outside or playing with the other dog. Which he does his business fast enough to get back inside and back on my lap.
So my dream of getting back to writing was short lived for the time being. I have to put it this way, the dog knows better than I do the rest that I need and I suppose that is a good thing. No wonder God gave us pets to watch over us just as he gave us guardian angels to watch over and keep us safe at all times. I am forever grateful to God and Jesus for always keeping a close eye on me. More grateful for our Blessed Mother and her mantle of protection.
Due to two sites in need of healing, the one that is abdominal is the most painful. Taking pain killers as an aid to keep from hurting too much has been a blessing. I was thinking the other night that I would need to wake up around three o'clock in the morning to take one before waking up completely and in severe pain.
Little did I know what to expect, usually I wake up without a problem and many times sleep through the loudest of noises. The other night there was such a loud clash of thunder that did wake me up and once I woke for a bit and took my meds the thunder had stopped. But the oddest part of the thunder was the feeling of anger in it as if to say how loud do I have to get before you wake up. I couldn't help feel as if God was a big part of the whole thing. I was so grateful to have been woken up at 3 a.m. it was amazing.
I think the best part was I had the feeling it was all orchestrated by our Heavenly Father out of his love. The thunder did not feel like normal thunder, I don't know how else to explain it. I just somehow knew it came from him.