Pride

The next step is facing chemotherapy and the loss of pride. The port a cath has been placed for the next step of the process and I tell you, that was a painful process too. The area it was placed is still very sore and my neck has this visible area where the catheter is. Wednesday I get to have a meeting regarding the chemotherapy, about the drugs that will be given and the ones I need to take before the therapy.

I mentioned in the beginning sentence about loss of pride and that is a womans hair. I have had plenty of time contemplating the fact that it will come out, even when others say it may not. The fact is it is very possible. Along with the possiblity of weight gain as well. Not something a person wants to hear when weight loss has been difficult at best, again there goes the loss of pride. Discovering areas in life that may have been prideful have been an eye opener for me. It is an opportunity to reflect on God's Word, the Psalms and HIS grace most of all.

Pride is a sin and if I have been sinning in this way regarding my hair and my body regarding weight then this is a good thing to root it out and allow me to correct that flaw and bring it before God to offer it up and ask for his Divine forgiveness. Even though they removed the cancer, this other stuff needs to be done to bring about healing and cleansing. So too, does reflection and then confession regarding sin in our life. It also brings healing and cleansing. It brings us closer to God. Who would dare to miss that opportunity to bring about that sense of well being and to be closer to God and his family.

I am glad that I have been given this moment to reflect and to partake of his grace in my life.

Pride

There are times in our lives when we learn all about pride, especially when we think we don't have it in our own lives. Something happens to glaringly bring it to light. For the past week I have been in extreme pain that is occuring in one leg, knee area. Yesterday I contacted my doctor since I was unable to over the weekend, hoping to be seen, but my appointment won't be until Wednesday. The pain was awful yesterday, I did heat, ice, nothing helped at all. I swallowed my pride and called out of work in hopes that the rest would help the pain go away, but the pain only grew greater as the day wore on and again I knew pride was standing in front of me as I pondered going to the emergency room. Why should I use that when I have an appointment coming up and again reasoning came to the front and I wanted to wait. Pride, that awful creature, I swallowed again and went, only to hear the Doctor say why did I wait so long. Out of pride I was holding off that each day the pain would lessen.

God teaches us valuable lessons in our life where we are given moments to reflect and see areas that may need correcting or where sin is prevalent. With me it is due to a time when I had no funds to go to the doctor or for that matter had insurance. I don't think I have quite gotten over that episode in my life of being totally at the bottom and nowhere else to go. Yet I was placed there for a reason to also see what many in the world suffer. One cannot understand how the poor suffer unless we are one ourselves. In that regard there are many levels to being poor, not just in the way of material or financial wealth but it's in the way of being spiritually poor and there too there are many levels. When we see through our lives what we suffer or when certain things happen that are not normal, then it's a time to reflect and see a different picture as to why.
Like I said, the pain I am undergoing and the reason for it are a means for me to see where I sin. Pride is a lesson I learned well to ride myself of and rather quickly. A sin I don't want, because it takes me away from my Beloved. All too often people in our lives can cause this sin to come to the surface because of their dislike or jealousy. One thing I hope no one is ever jealous about my life, because they can have the same relationship with God as I have if they truly say they love Him and wants what He wants. Loving God has it's price, Jesus paid dearly with his life with the mockery, the dislike, the hatred even when he gave love and healing he withstood the pain on the Cross as he forgave those who betrayed and crucified him. What type of pride do we have that stops us from loving God and giving him our hearts.