A Light

Having the opportunity to fast in the physical way made for a pleasant surprise during communion the other day. It's taken me a bit to accept the wonderful gift given on Wednesday morning. Last night during scripture sharing we were given a delightful story of how a son was named and from it how this family was given so very many "signs" that yes, the name chosen was supposed to be his name. Anyway, that brought me to thinking about that mornings communion and the delight I was given.

How would it even be possible to receive words that seem to have been given to Jesus when he received his baptism by John the Baptist when God revealed how pleased he was with him. How can I even compare such a moment as a gift in itself when it was made known to my heart. How does one accept being called Beloved in you I am well pleased. Realizing that having fasted prior to receiving a small piece of the Eucharist, for a long time helped in understanding this was from the one I love more than life itself. I even thought was this from me, and my own thought, but then I recalled another time when I had to fast and it was given and I placed that moment in the recesses of my mind and heart. Again with thought that what if it was my own thinking. My only thought in this regard was fearing retribution from God for such a blaphemous thought in the first place. But with so much that has been going on spiritually in my life I put that notion aside and accepted the truth that God revealed to me.

Scripture sharing last night helped to show me that God does reveal special moments to us in many ways, some receive it by verifying what they know and reinforces what God wants for them. He gives them moments of truth, consolations to provide the right path and his joy at what we do right and good. Like he did for the family in scripture sharing and how he provided his pleasure at the name they chose for their child by the many consolations given. How truly tremendous God gives on a daily basis, yet many fail each day to open their hearts, minds and souls to his divine Will. If they only knew what could be theirs.

Reading the Word of God

This morning was my debut as a lector and it went very well. I accidentally bid a hasty retreat back to my seat at communion without realizing I was to stay put until the end when Monsignor goes and gives the Eucharist to the congregation. That was the only minor glitch and duly noted so as not to do it again. I think more than anything my thoughts were on what also may happen upon receiving and those beautiful moments come. I should not worry about that and just let God do what he does best.

Since communion for me is a time that I often experience many blessings of the Spirit, I was afraid that being part of the area that people are closest to the Altar that it would be twofold. But this morning I held on for dear life and held back what should be natural the explicit joy. Right now no words can convey the torment. But today I learned a very dear lesson on what not to do and that is to squelch the Spirit. The very freedom a gift of pure love. I was shamefull in that moment where I wanted to be alone in my joy where no one could see the happiness that becomes so apparent upon receiving my beloved. What I feared most was not being totally open to receiving. How odd to think that being where everyone can see would place such a hold on such a natural gift of receiving without reserve.

Hopefully as I get accustomed to being in a place where all can see, the joy will be just as wonderful. That is my hope for today. Todays reading reading was even more special for the first time as it had to do with Praising God. "Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God almighty, who was, and who is, and who is to come." That phrase is absolutely beautiful and to think how close we are to the very Throne of God and fail to sing his praises by exclaiming those very words. Along with these: “Worthy are you, Lord our God,to receive glory and honor and power, for you created all things; because of your will they came to be and were created.” God is so good and loving.

I know in one of the pictures I took of what I saw on the Eucharist, there was an image that showed itself of a Throne, I think quite a few of those pictures showed much of Revelation, now that I think about it.