All About Reading.

I'm going to try to do an online reading of a book called "The Adornment of the Spiritual Marriage" by Jan van Ruysbroeck. Jan van Ruysbroeck [b. 1293 or 1294, d. 1381] was a Flemish mystic. He led a life of asuterity, eventually founding a congregation in Groenendaal. His writings were widely circulated in his lifetime and he influenced an entire generation of Christian mystics. He was beatified on Decmber 1st, 1908, by Pope St. Pius X.

I first came across this when I was looking for answers, but I never did read it. I've kept it bookmarked in my favorites until it was time for the day when I could appreciate what I was reading and come to understand what has happened in my life in the mystical way. I did manage to print the title of the book sometime in the year of 2005 for safekeeping in case of computer loss. Time flies it seems from then to now. Even though I had a deeply mystical experience I still do not classify myself in anyway, shape or form mystical or anything other than a normal human being with many flaws. I'm nobody special, only in the eyes of God and to me that's all that matters.

Now as I begin to read more and come to a greater understanding I will appreciate the gift God has bestowed on them to allow a deeper understanding of his Love and what he has done for me.

It makes sense

I think it's about time I start looking to find a new Spiritual Director. Since Sister is no longer mine and has moved on to another job, she did give me another persons name should I choose this person.

I originally started out with a Priest who is a distant family relation, but was told by a Nun that it wouldn't be a good idea to have someone close like that. It's tough too because he is a very busy Priest.

I was thinking about this the other day, how I need this. Not just for direction but for guidance and help in understanding somethings that aren't understandable at times. Now all I have to do is find the card with her name on it and make an appointment. How else does a person choose a director, especially one who understands the mystical.

There are times I wonder and now more than anything when I reflect it is with a greater understanding, because it has taken much time to learn the desires of God's heart. There is an understanding that when he transforms some it is in an instant and others it is a gradual process. I know there has been much with my life, but there was many things that have been going on way before my miracle of the Eucharist. As time has gone on I began to see it all come together. More and more has made sense. And I'm deeply thankful for it too. There has been so many gifts and struggles to understand, but the biggest part of it all is God's forgiveness. It is great and his love knows no bounds.

Odd but good

I needed to stop at the Rectory after work to pick up a missing item from an order that was late coming in from a fundraiser. While I was there I was able to talk to the secretary about a few things. I discovered she has had her own mystical experiences. So I was able to ask her about something that happened at work yesterday. After lunch something happened, where I felt a presence next to me. What I was able to tell her was seeing the material that was under my left hand moving without me moving my hand at all. It was the strangest thing to see. I didn't sense or feel the presence as something bad. What I did was feel another hand with mine, and watch as I tried to open a bag but could not, yet I felt this hand moving with mine.

There was a point that I just sat there and said what the :$*%#& is going on. Little did I know that I thought I was saying freak and I was told I swore. They laughed. But today they told me I was gone for fifteen minutes, that I wasn't there. I was physically but not there. They told me I was trying to coil fiber and it was funny to watch, they were afraid I was going to break it. It was awesome. Well anyway, when I got home I told my parents about it. And today I spoke to Kathy, she had said it may have been the Lord's way or telling me he is with me and guiding my hand, basically. I didn't think about that, but then I remember asking him to show me the way, and guide me on my path. Well then it seems the clean room I work in is a fountain of the mystical. Because I heard the words clear as day in a silent room and now this presence that was felt and seen the movement of to show me that he was there.

At this point nothing is surprising anymore, but becoming clearer. Not like at the begininng when everything that was happening and the hard time I had in believing he could choose a sinner as myself. That took me such a long time to understand that he what he is doing is not only calling me to his life but to be his witness too. It's still hard to believe I swore while under the influence of his presence. But prayer was always there at the time and later too. I prayed the whole time.

Even today I felt the presence in my left arm briefly. At that I prayed.