Hope

There is hope knowing that everything went well yesterday with my infusion. Only draw back is the effects from the anti nausea stuff raises my blood sugar too high. So a call went to my primary care regarding a plan for the time period when I have to take these particular meds.

I am hopeful that all will go well and there will not be too many draw backs. I have found praying for my care givers, such as the doctors and nurses help alot. Praying that they will know to do the right thing regarding my care and the treatments needed. I kinda stopped asking our Lord for financial because everytime I pray for his divine assistance I seem to find more coming out of the woodwork as if to say I will never get his assistance that way. I try to be positive in this and try to believe that he will always be there when I fall flat on my face.

Whenever trials come around doesn't it always seem as if more trials come thru and wonder if they will ever end. I know that God is great and his love is never ending, I know his sons love is the same. I asked my mom this morning if it was possible if maybe my faith wasn't as strong as it should be and she said my faith is up there. My mom is one of the ones who has taught me to be positive with other people as she does the same with me and rest of our family. When we question things she seems to know that sometimes we need positive reinforcement. I think God is the same way too when we receive consolations to say good job.

Right now I know there is hope because they removed all the cancer and it is gone, this part is to get rid of any cells that may have roamed about. I trust that this treatment will work and everything will come out fine. I anticipate the day when I don't feel icky from recovery of surgeries and everything else. I would be lying if I didn't admit my mental health has taken a beating, the anxiety one encounters regarding lifes situation. If I thought life was tough after having a heart attack and overcoming that obstacle, then this one should not be so tough. It never is easy when we find our life ridden with illness and how to remove the blight in the first place. I have even tried praying for healing of our family ancestors so the next generation will not be so plagued with issues. It is a hope that God will see these prayers answered in his own time if it his will for our family.