Part of the Journey

What a beautiful day today was, it was filled with anticipation. Don't know about what as yet but it was nice anyway. I had a good morning when a thought came to mind and from that an acknowledgement of it. God does work wonderfully and when we let ourselves realize the truth of his ways we find out how truly loved we are by him. It doesn't matter what others think but what God thinks of us and about us.

One thing I have found out, I'm terrible with math in thought, but on paper I do very well. It's worse when I get nervous in front of people. That happened to me today when I was making change for a person. Since I'm new to what the system uses it is taking a bit of time learning it. Only two days on and off on both days working with the register. I've been doing a lot of prep work and today was inventory day. Now that was different. Not as tired today after lifting up those boxes that came in and had to be put away. I came home yesterday so tired I was in bed way too early. It was good though, since it was the first day on the job.

Now I need the time to write my letter and get that sent out. I don't get a chance to have a break at work as there is no time to have one, and if it is it's brief. So hopefully after work I can tackle it. Today I mowed the lawn, after the belt was put back, since I knocked it off with a branch. The lawn was getting a bit high. The garden is looking good. Not all the corn came up unfortunately. The little critters found themselves something good to eat. Same with my sunflower seeds, those came up and got eaten and dug up, sneaky little chipmunks. Found a snake skin stuck in the stairs outside, scared the daylights out of me, I definitely do not like snakes. When I was young I used to mow the lawn and once I saw a snake that was the end of mowing, in the house I went. It's not as bad now, but I still don't like them.

There is a pair of frogs in my window well every year. This year when I turn on the water to water the garden, I always say something to them, they are kind of cute. I managed to move a big cement statue of Jesus to the back yard where rhodies are growing and there is a cut-out for a bench. That's where I put him. He looks at home there. A smaller one was put in the garden, it's his garden. It was made with him in thought. It's a blessing to wake up everyday and know that we are loved by God. He loves us all so much.

Light of my life

It's hard to believe the Epiphany is already upon us. It went by so fast this year too. I don't think it had to do with age but with the way time has a way of moving along.

I still haven't been able to set up the other computer on the wireless router. For some reason when I updated Windows Me to XP somewhere a program locked and I can't undo it. But that also gave me a chance to finish fine tuning the computer. To remove some long distant and old programs that are not in use nor will be.

That also applies to some of the programs that were installed when I was in school and no longer needed. I do have the books should I need a refresher. I did get to look at some old pictures that I took of the Eucharist and had a wonderful time in complete fascination. My God there are no words to what he gave me to see. It's just remarkable!

I know there has been a big change in me from when I first began writing, and this I can say has helped. If anyone ever says journaling is for the birds they are wrong, it helps us see what we need to see about ourselves. I know I was probably bug-eyed for a bit but that's what writing does, it helps to remove some of the obstacles that we refuse to see unless it's in writing. Maybe it don't make sense, but to me it does.

I often wondered why some people try to say to me that what I think is wrong about my faith, but you know something, they aren't practicing theirs. And then there are some who would be happy to be with me because they can talk about faith. I had a young fellow at work say that to me, he could talk to me for ten years straight and be happy. I almost laughed but he told me, it is hard to find young ladies who have a faith they are willing to share. Instead they are full of make believe, trying to be something they are not.

I found it nice that he was interested, and the ladies asking me about men. When my response is I have one who is close to my heart. I have given myself in total surrender to God. Sometimes they don't understand how I can do this. For them intimacy means sexual, for me it means closeness to God where he touches my soul, my heart, my all. That is love to want to be with the desire of the heart so much that no one will ever break that bond no matter how hard they try. This is the beauty of loving God with all of our being. It is my choice to follow his way, no one else's way. He is my life eternal, because a perpetual light continually shines for him.

Some Ramblings

Sometimes I wonder, where I am headed. You called me, oh God how you have called. I still wonder why. I have loved you for so long, yet I have you so very late.

I have tried to write in a journal with a pen, but I fail. Is it because when I make errors on paper I have to erase or cross out depending on what implement I use. Sometimes I end up frustrated because my penmanship starts out nice then it gets lost on the paper. Finally I end up throwing out what I wrote and giving up on the venture.

When I attempted to do a journal on-line I found it was easier. There is something to be said about not having clumps of paper strewn about. I still make errors though. I don't use the abc check as often as I should, and my proofreading needs more work. But when I write from the spirit, it just comes out. After all I'm not perfect. God thank you for the flaws. You created me, I love me, because you are a part of me. If I hated myself then I would be hating you. Hands down no choice there, love is the stronger of the two.