Grace

I don't know what hurts worst, pain in the body or mouth pain. I think mouth pain won hands down. Nothing worst than pain along the jaw that shoots straight to the ear. It could be worse! Mending an area long overdue, kinda what happens to our souls when we overlook the promptings to correct our actions, attitudes, and or thoughts. The conscience of all places that guide when we listen to it. When it's developed properly. Having the opportunity to read some spiritually insightful books has helped to aid the process of learning in my life lately.

I think I've come to a new level of awareness of my surroundings. There was a period of time that kept me apart from so much in order for me grasp the enormity of God's grace. I feel as if I've been newly awakened on this journey I'm traveling on. Honestly I don't know all that much about a lot of things other than what I have learned from life and interacting with others. I feel so blind about a lot of things that have been coming together. How can one explain the depths of their interior or for that matter what they feel is going on and how it all seems to take shape.

It's as if being kept in the dark until the right moment when part of the whole plan will reveal itself. It's knowing but not knowing until that precise moment he lifts the veil to allow a glimpse of the truth. The slow process of transformation rather than one swift move. I've wondered how it would have been if that happened and I don't think the process would have been the same. There are times when I truly feel dumb and totally out of my element when all I know is God's deep love and nothing else. Knowledge then eludes me about all I have learned and I sit with a dumbfounded look upon my face, with the thought of how is that possible to have lost so much and know so little when I have learned a lifetime of many things. Those are the moments of God's grace shinning ever brightly to keep pride from growing and allowing me to be ever humble in his sight.

Graces

I wonder how many listen and then reflect upon the readings at Mass. I began thinking about yesterday's, which prompted me to go back and re-look at the many pictures of the Eucharist that I have taken. I sat in total awe of what he has given. It was the consolation of a lifetime. A gift beyond compare.

I had placed those pictures like everything we do in our lives, on the top shelf so to speak. Out of sight, but not out of mind. Thoughts of God are ever present, but I failed to continue to seek understanding. I think that's why I have made pilgrimages to Shrines to remove the negativity that the world causes, to restore balance and harmony with a very loving God.

Not many people truly seek the presence of God in their lives. They say much but it is lip service, their hearts are made of stone. The last healing Mass I had gone to I had the opportunity to understand that God pours out his love to bring healing. That is quite beautiful if you ask me. And he does it everytime because His love is great.

Double the Pleasure

What are the odds to have a special grace given twice in one day. Not often. This morning was an odd one as I was heading out for work. Just like one morning but a bit different I encountered a deer standing at the edge of the road watching the slow progress of my car. This morning I drove very slow for some reason and the thought of deer was ever present. So I was on the look out and I saw her not where I would have thought but up a ways. What was different was that after spotting my stopped car she ran. The other day the deer just stood just inside off the roadway as I passed by. So she ran away with her young one off into the woods. It made my day even more blessed.

When I came home I did the usual, after supper I took a walk in the back to my usual spot. As I stood there looking off into the distance, I turned to look at a fallen tree and I saw the deer just standing there watching me. Neither one of us moved. It was a special moment to be so close yet so far away from one of God's creatures. A little while she turned and moved off with the young one not far behind her all the while tears of love and joy running down from my eyes. It was just tremendous to have this special gift twice in one day. We are given answers in unusual ways and somehow I was given one today in a most unusual way.

God does prepare us for our life's journey and sometimes for something more. Other times it's to prepare us for a task that needs to be done. We don't always know what it is until he reveals it to us in special and unique ways. All my life I have looked for the signs of his presence in life. That is one of the things I learned when I was young and learned my Catechism. Was to prepare and to keep watch. I guarded my heart in spite of my sinfulness when growing up. No excuse though, even being human and imperfect I still strive for perfection and in the process I found forgiveness. God loves deeply a heart that loves in return. He loves each and everyone of us equally and just as deeply. It is up to us to love him just as deeply as he does, if not more so. What we receive is not valuable in the material sense, but it gives us peace beyond all understanding.

Grace

Sunday was a grace filled day. It started with Mass, then I had the opportunity to go to St. Anne's Shrine for a visit. One that I was happy to do. I was able to get some more medals since I keep giving mine away. I bought a small handful for the time being. I went and visited our Lady's mother, she is there for us as a mother too.

It was an odd day even though grace was abundant, I had some thoughts that were a bit forlorn. I'm glad though for the time to spend with the heavenly family in prayer and reflection. I also went to St. Joseph's Abbey for a visit, where I found a book that will help also in the discernment of my life. St. Ignatius Loyola is the one who set these rules for discernment. From the little bit that I have read it has been tremendous so far. It's weird sometimes how we are led to find what we need. You can gloss over many titles and often come up empty for inspiration. Our Lord moves in wonderful ways in helping us to grow in our spiritual level of grace. When we are at the point that the next step is to be taken, he gives us the way. Not in the ways we would think but in the way that gives us his guidance.

I'm grateful for that because that ended up being part of my present, a gift from my family. Anyway, from there I came home to prepare to do my hour at Chapel. It was a hot, humid day but spending it fully on our Lord was the best day I have spent in a while. I had a thought that we were going to be visited and when I came home from Chapel I wasn't surprised to find Father Plasse was over. We had a wonderful time chatting with each other, I was able to get the medals blessed then. I told him I felt bad for leaving the other job, but the one I ended up going to was for more money. Unfortunately the job didn't pay enough to take care of the car payment and car insurance and nothing else. Enough of that, it's my concern anyway and I don't want to put people off by my financial tidbits. Bad enough I did it before without realizing my foolishness. I think I was more upset with my situation than anyone else, something I needed to accept.

I think God is so good to us, this thought will never change. Someday people understand how truly good he is.

Clean up

Now that I had this extra day, I was able to catch up on the finishing touches of painting the room. Now that part is complete, it's clean up time. I have many paint spots on the floor, because I didn't put down any covering. It's okay though, the floor needed a good scrubbing from past wax build up. It's now nice and bright in here. It used to be dark paneling, now there is white walls.

This is good, since nothing has been done in the basement for close to over thirty years. Since this is temporary for me, it is a good way to help out my parents with some of the maintenance as my payment for rent. I hope it will not take too long to get back on my feet and get the situation back into control. When God puts us through a test and does things to teach us a new way of life, it's not so bad as we think when trust is there.

And I trust God completely, he still shows himself to me in the Eucharist, but more in the way of his image is live and moving. I should say Jesus since this is where we all find him on a daily basis. It's so nice when he brightens the host in a flash of light. For me this is such a special grace to see him, and it's something I hope others will be able to see him too when they put their complete love and trust in him. He is amazing what he does for us.