Discovery

I feel like there is void going on inside of me these past few days. I discovered that I have no words to write. I've searched and found nothing! Is this what they call quiet time? I am wondering since I had those words if I am to just be in the Here and Now and not worry about tomorrow or the next day.

I have discovered I do worry too much about mundane stuff. I've prayed to have this taken away from me or somehow not be as intense. I didn't realize I was doing it that much until I took note of it. Not an easy thing to do considering I have had nothing but time on my hands with recovering from this illness. I have discovered how truly imperfect I am and am very thankful for it too. I suppose at this stage in my life it is not easy not to worry, but that is something I really need to stop doing and let go and let God take over.

I want to cry because I have found that part is not easy as I had thought. I had given over and let go of so much already in my life to God and now I have found another part that needs to be given up. How do I begin the process, yet several days ago I did attempt that very thing. I don't have control of many things and it seems there is so much already in my life that I have found what I did control has been taken away from me. In a sense from what I see is Gods hand in purifying my life to make room for something better. Or to cleanse what did not belong. If I asked to have a clean mind, heart and body then this is his way of removing the blight that keeps him from being close.

I think I like the fact that God is pulling out all the stops to create in me a clean evironment for HIM to dwell in.