Healing

It was a long day yesterday with little sleep before it. I went to a healing Mass with an open heart for the grace of God's healing in my life. I had this notion that because I saw an extraordinary image on the Eucharist and experience many of God's graces, that I wasn't supposed to receive the gift of being healed. But I found that even I need healing in areas that are blocking me from growing and that's when God uses others to touch our lives.

Without going into too much detail, I suffered at the hands of another in a relationship that was eating my soul. Emotional abuse is almost the worst form of abuse a person can suffer. God has touched my life for a very long time and on top of it when I was given this grace to see him, the abuse that I had undergone had me in a state of unbelief in myself. My faith in God was the one thing that kept me whole and from loosing myself. It's been a long journey in healing and little by little it has come in various stages.

When I was talking to my sister last night after she came with me to a prayer Cenacle, she told me that she has seen the difference in me and how I am coming back to where I once was before the abuse entered my life. God is my strength and without him I wouldn't be here. Well anyway, I sought healing, to bring healing to those wounds that I cannot mend on my own. It is always my litany of prayer to conquer the hurt that I cannot rid myself of. And God is so good and loving in providing us with people who love unconditionally. God provided me with various gifts and one of them allows me to pray for another. We all have this gift of prayer but we sometimes forget how to pray it. He has given me the gift of his love by the choice of music he delivers his messages. I don't doubt that part at all, it was what I saw that I doubted. I don't doubt that no more either. Have I now then come to terms with God's healing grace in my life and seen for myself how blessed I am to have his strength to find healing through another. Yes, and God still knocks on the door of my heart and speaks softly to me of his undying love. The wounds are almost healed and soon I will be able to launch out into the deep and do what God intended for me to do.