July 11, 2006

No more desires.

Today when I was reflecting upon the reading, I remember how the things that I do have, I wanted to get rid of. And I proceeded to do just that. I don't have much left, but the basics. The desire to do away with material possessions was a strong one.

Then I think about the odd desires, the desire to not write, or the desire to not want to pray. These are the hardest one's, because giving in to those, acknowledges that God has been put second. But the beauty of not giving into those desires gives me strength. Then I know I have conquered the desire to do what evil wants and that is to not pray or write about our Dear God.

Does following God and putting him first count? Very much. It's not hard to do, when we admit our weaknesses. I have a weakness that I battle constantly, and that is the battle of negativity. No one is immune to it, just some handle it better than others. For some it is a struggle. I thank God for allowing me the grace to know my human failings, so I may work all the more harder at not allowing the darkness to creep in.

At one point, because of the wrong I was in, the negativity affected me so much. I have since found, that when I am around anyone who is negative, it sends me back where I don't want to be. In those moments I have learned to pray even harder, not to be affected, but to help those who are in need, with the prayers.

Then I think about what Jesus suffered, by the hands of others and how he dealt with it. He often went up to the mountain to lay at his Fathers feet the burden of mankind, that he took upon himself. I should be able to do the same, laying the burdens of those who affect me at my Fathers feet just as Jesus did.

But this is part of following God and his Son, it is to lay at their feet the daily burdens of life, that is where we understand the meaning of them taking up the yoke and our burdens become lighter. So today, I thank you again my Dearest Father, for your love and for taking my burdens.

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