Surprises

The visit was a surprise today and it was extremely welcome. The joy I knew in my heart the moment I interiorly saw your presence. I instinctively knew and acknowledged what I have been given. Perhaps a message of hope after all but most certainly it was the touching of the heart that made the meaning all the clearer, that of love. I trusted in what I knew and came to understand how profound that love is. These last few days have been remarkable one's. Ever since Sunday it has been an ongoing spiritual grace. One of greater understanding of love.

It's those moments of grace that touch our hearts when we least expect it to. A moment of consolation. A moment of unity a moment of joyful bliss. What has made the difference in this regard? One could say it came about at the dinner table or should I say at the banquet table of the Lord. It is not only acknowledging his presence but doing his will and being that message of hope for him.

Be A Message of Hope

I was taking a break from shoveling this morning. While sitting on the stairs and listening to religious music and looking off into the distance. I began to reflect on many things about life. Kind of like a prayer was being said about love encompassing the world to heal the wounds of so many. While these thoughts of prayer came through so did specific words from a song. These words are "message of hope." What is a message of hope? I did a google search and this is what I came up with for message of hope "A Brief Message of Hope" and a google search for messenger of hope brought this one of "Pope Benedict XVI: messenger of hope." Is it living the Gospel message? Is it making Him known to mankind so they too will have hope in God and Jesus. Are we called to be messages of hope as well. Then I begin to wonder if I am called to be a message of hope, to share in the gift of God's presence in my life.

There is one thing I can state with certainty is the real presence of our Lord in the Eucharist. Many find it hard to believe or even understand how possible it is. Even priest fail to believe in it even though they go through the consecration at Mass. They most of all need our prayers to help them be the bearers of Jesus in our troubling world. Once they believe in His presence in the Eucharist they too shall become messages of hope. There might be a small handfull that do not believe, but it is enough to squash the spirit of God in those chosen to minister to others.

How do we as Catholics and Christians be messages of hope when we fail in our own belief in the very presence of God. I believe with all my heart in every message of hope that God provides in my life. How about you?

(there was a correction made in the title and in the blog text). When I located the song that I heard the words, I went back to re-listen to the song, the words are in a message of hope and promise. But somehow later as I was recalling it I was looking up messenger rather than message. It's always good to make sure of what we recall and if it's incorrect to correct it. And I did.

The Big Dig

The big dig started yesterday after work to expose part of the foundation. With the help of a dehumidifier, we were able to see where the water was seeping through. Unfortunately I had to cut down two bushes or else I wouldn't be able to have a place to put the dirt. This picture is the results of yesterdays dig. And this one is this mornings extended hole. It's a bit less now since it's been dug a bit more since I took the picture. Anyone care to help with the dig? I'm accepting offers of help or better yet prayers.

One thing I discovered, I'm alot like my dad. He does what has to get done, but will not ask for help when help is really needed. My mom in that regard would do the asking of the rest of the family. I'm like him in that regard, I don't ask anyone for help. It takes alot to overcome that aspect of our lives.

There is something extremely wonderful as well when God is part of our lives it's when He unites himself with us and we understand the simplest of requests. There was an occasion where I was able to be at Mass and understood God's grace in my life. I knew moments of forgiveness as well as forgiving. I took in all that was to be taken in and absorbed so much. One will not understand the unifying grace of a soul in communion. The depths of understanding not only his mercy but his love. I had a moment where interiorly love spoke profoudly, that is what God wants the most. This morning as I reflected upon those hours of profound joy, I knew more than anything what it was I was supposed to know. That the communication is clear and understood in the very depths of my heart.

I now understand how God might feel when he requests things of us and we turn our back on him to do other things we deem more important than him and his requests. The many times we fail to attend Mass or receive the sacrament of penance or the many times we turn our backs on our neighbors when they are in need. Thinking about how we have the many nudges to do good for others, to be kind, to love, to offer hope and peace in our world of turmoil. How often God and the Holy Spirit prompt us of these things and we fail to do it or mend our ways when it's offered to us. I often think about my own relationship with God and reflect on where I can offer hope or love and peace to another when He requests more of me than I know I have to give.

Restoration

The Pope is doing a wonderful thing to restore harmony in regards to music with the Mass. It seems to be the fad to try to make voices blend that do not sound harmonious at all. When reflecting upon how far we have come in the world of music and what we deem melodious is not always the case. Because we are human and our ears are all tuned in to what we all prefer to hear. We sometimes fail to understand God's beauty or his hearing in regards to what might please HIM.

But then we go back to the Mass and how choirs attempt to sing in such a way that exludes the body of the Church during Mass. How do people follow along and sing when they hear variations that they cannot follow. I've seen people cringe as well as myself at times when the music was atrocious and not suitable for reflection. Granted there are many a song that that are plain and simple but in harmony. Sometimes the complexity of the music and the complex way the attempts to make a different sound can create what is not beautiful. The same can be said when mixing colors, sometimes we create mud rather than a clear picture. But mind you this is my humble opinion on the matter. Not all music in this world is harmonious nor is it pleasant to listen to. I pray that our Blessed Pope Benedict succeeds in restoring harmony and unity in the Church. The sanctity of Mass, the very holiness that has been missing for so very long is slowly coming back. And I'm sure that pleases God very much. After all it is His in the first place and who are we to change what God deems beautiful and pleasing. In that regard I too concur with our Heavenly Father, the Mass is where I can give my self offering to Him for all that He does for me by honoring Him on the one day he asks to give to him.

The Reason For Living

A few nights ago I awoke in the middle of the night to a few words from a song that were quite nice and very unexpected. I know the title and am doing a search for the lyrics. As I have recalled there was only a few words that were similar to the title that I know but as I woke to it, I ended up phrasing a question in response to what it was I was receiving in sleep. I didn't think too much about it, except it has kept coming to mind when I get home and I begin to relax. This particular song is not well known as I have not been able to find the lyrics with the song title. But as I begin to focus on the song I begin to wonder if it is this exact thing that I am to do. To be drawn to the song in the first place and listen with the heart and not with the ears to what the words will convey.

In a sense the same when I read the Bible and am drawn to a particular verse. To let it simmer and stew like food cooking within my soul. There have been moments where I have questioned to which direction I am to go. It has not been an easy road and I'm sure the title of the song "Where Shall I Go" spoke loudly as well my interior wonder as well. It seems a coinciding factor of a twofold nature. To know more of my interior heart and to know my direction in vocation. I had such a big question in that regard for the past few weeks that I literaly talked myself out of pursuing the religious life as well. I mentioned it hasn't been easy and it hasn't. The trials that seem to put a dent in many things. One was a flooding in our basement and takling that problem before the humidity of water made for a permanent home to mold and mildew. The dehumidifier has been not stop with so far emptying the container twice a day.

It's in those times when confronted with obstacles in life that I wonder if my direction is on the right path and the questions grow and so do the prayers as well. The garden this year is meager, I placed the tomato plants too close together and the rabbits had a field day with the now non existent brussel sprouts and kale plants. The string beans plants had the tops eaten and are slowly coming back. But I did manage to see a nice yellow squash come out, not yet ready to pluck from the plant. I'm trying also butternut squash again this year, in a different spot since last year it died. Who knows maybe it will come about this year. I have begun to see the red onions taking shape. This too is the second attempt at growing them. And this time the results are looking good as well. Hot peppers are also producing pretty well, better than I thought since regular green peppers I have had no good results with them.

I think if I get to plant next year, I am definitely going to try a better way of doing it naturally where the plants do well. Oh and the weeds have been growing just as abundantly as the rest the plants. By now weeding has been nearly not as successful. I tried placing leaves on the ground as an added help in that regard. With the rain we've been having it has done its job in allowing the growth of what we deem weeds in the flower garden as well. It's all nature at it's best and it's showing that it has the right to take over just as much as the flower and vegetable plants have in occupying the ground space. Silly thought in that analogy but when we stop manicuring the area it has a way of spreading like leaven. Just like the the surrounding woods and how the underbrush takes over and fill in areas that once was tread upon.

In that regard isn't our hearts similar when sin enters, it begins to spread and take over what once was clean. Or on the other hand it can be the other way as well when we let love in, it takes over and fills in the void. The other day I was coming out of the store where I get my prescriptions and I saw this young lady I used to work with. I was so happy to see Nadia after all these years. She still doesn't speak English too well, but that is okay, her love spoke volumes when she hugged me like a long lost sister. I met her husband who is very nice. She came from Europe, I think it was either Poland or Kazakstan. The people that worked at that job came from many parts of Europe and Asia. That's where I learned the art of communicating without learning other languages, it was through the love I had for them all. They were all a great group of people and I miss them all very much. Sometimes we don't always think we are loved by others until one day we meet up with them and their eyes and their hearts glow with happiness and love upon seeing one another again.

That reminds me of how it is with my relationship with God, those wonderful moments when we touch, how the heart and soul lights up with love.

Once More

There are times when I begin writing what is prominent in thought, but may have no meaning to another. As I read back the last post I wondered myself, but I had also a moment of reliving what prompted me to write it in the first place. A conversation between a few people and the hidden hurt that lay buried in the moments of revelation from one. How do we truly know when to pray or not to pray for those who seem as if all is right in their life.

The Holy Spirit guides us to pray for one another for reasons that we will never know about. What we are to do is pray for healing, for conversion. What exactly does healing have to do with it. It is in the way of spiritual healing that opens the way to other healing. That which is most importantly that of love.

Well anyway it was a moment of clarity for myself in knowing that prayers are often what is prompted in moments of need for the need of others. Some days I know that it comes out wonderfully and other times it seems vague and mysterious. It's in those moments that I know that I have done his will and not mine.

Holy Spirit

It was a beautiful way to help bring the Holy Spirit into the lives of the young. So many forget about him or pass off the promptings as something else. Discernment is a must in this regard. How much do we let the Holy Spirit work in our own lives. I know for me it took many significant happenings for me to understand how prominent he is in my life. I often thought about the gifts of the Spirit throughout my life. Never in a million years would have prepared me for the truth.

We often walk with blinders on to the pain of others and their ordeals until they reveal moments in their lives that make us see the inner pain they don't often reveal. Those are the moments when we don't judge them but pray for them. I know that some will not understand what I just wrote about the inner pain. It's seeing, not with the eyes or the ears but of the heart, the pain that is not spoken of. That is what the Holy Spirit gives another for prayer on behalf of what that suffering soul has gone through. Well anyway, my prayers are for peace to come to those who seek it.

The Blessings of Our Church.

Everything that has been read has shown the fruit of the Holy Spirit in Pope Benedict's XVI travels. He is doing the impossible and restoring life back into the Church. The church life was good before but it was nothing but an ember. I praise God for giving us this grace and time of renewal. A chance to mend what was broken. The world also has this opportunity if only we would recognize the need to change our ways as well. Our beloved Pontiff is leading us on the right path that will bring us peace in our troubled world. May God watch over him and keep him safe as he gently guides us. Let his example be a shining beacon for all to see.

The Life

The last few days have been odd and good all at once. My parents and I have taken up doing the Rosary together at night. We used to do this long ago, but as us kids grew older and went our own way it stopped. They continued with each other, and I did my own prayers on my own. So this is very good thing.

Yesterday I came across a few Chapter members at Mass. When I spoke to Joe, he mentioned something that another Dominican is putting together, a ministry. My ears perked up at that and I stated to him that I would be interested. It has to do with the Divine Mercy Chaplet. So the past few days have been fruitful.

The last few weeks have been the kind that have been one's where I have begun to look at what it is that I have kept. Now that part is mind bogling because for the life of me I have no clue why I kept such things as a nail, little odds and ends that have taken up residence in a few choice places. Then I began to think about those days off and the possibility of visiting a Shrine once a month in the State of Mass. There are quite a few to go to. Some in downtown Boston, and that alone is a daunting task to maneuver in the hustle and bustle. But one of these days I will give it a shot. I like those type of day trips, they are often refreshing.

Wondering

Friday evening before leaving to Chapel, my sister and niece were over with an eight week old puppy. My moms dog and the puppy were having so much fun chasing each other, it was a joy to watch. We were outside so what came next was a surprise because we only were in the house for a few minutes before I was to leave. I left the basement door and approached my car, when I turned around I saw a racoon rounding the foundation of the house from the front stairway. It walked along the foundation as if I wasn't there. I got in and moved the car to leave, but the racoon didn't even stop. This I can say is where cell phones did come in handy, I called the house to let them know there is a racoon going up the back stairs to the backyard and not to let the dogs out. That was a first for me. I never saw a racoon up close like that before. They have the strangest walk I have ever seen, but then again God has his purpose in how he makes those creatures. Just like he did with each of us.

Do many of us see God in our fellow human beings. Do we see him in their actions, their words. Or do we see the evil one present when we hear lies, or see actions that cause strife. Who do we portray in our daily life? I mention this because I am reminded from others that those in the position of power give false promises to the public. The politicians and so very many others. It has become the mind set of how we live. If they can do it so does everybody else. So if they lie about what they speak, people never believe in what they are told. Those politicians, who are they portraying then, and for that matter are we doing the same in our daily lives. Are we condemning ourselves by these actions, because in the end we are all judged by God.

Life

Last night was the wake for Roger, he looked so peaceful. I found out what it means to embrace death in how he chose to live out the remainder of his life. Jackie took care of him for four months when he went through chemotherapy. We she told me he researched leukemia and saw that treatment only prolonged life for a short while, he chose not to go that route. Instead he chose to live the remainder of his life filled with quality rather than living with sickness from treatments. Amazingly when confronted with a teminal illness and you know that life will end the choices that patient go through to live out the remainder of life. Yet many seek healing and continually look for that all time miracle to continue life without pain or suffering. Because of how he chose to live the remainder, the course of M6 leukemia was swifter. I have to give him credit to spend the remainder of time living life as if there was no end.

Roger was my age and single so his choice was to go in dignity, I once mentioned to him that he should have been a priest. But he chose to build his business instead which took so very much of his time. But the result ended with a home he built up in the mountains. Did he live life, of course he did. I was looking at the pictures they had of him growing up and I was struck by two of them. One was lighting the Easter Candle at Church and the Cross he wore around his neck. He is going to missed by family and friends.

Isn't this how we are to learn about life and death. How to sacrifice. Understanding there is nothing to fear but fear itself. And life does go on.

Cleaning

There is one thing about cleaning out the clutter in the living areas of our lives that frees up space as well as simplifying. I began to take stock of what it is that is truly needed and what isn't. I began to see what I was holding onto that needed chucking. In that same sense I also began to look deep into my heart to see what clutter that may be present there as well.

It's not so hard to understand how easily we wound the very heart of Jesus. When we take stock of how our own heart deliberately wounds the very heart of God with our own sins. Many times we refuse to see how we truly are, an imperfect people. Those cleaning out days help me take stock of how it's very important to also keep our hearts clear of clutter. Living without clutter in our hearts opens it up to God's love. How can our hearts open up to Jesus when we keep placing more stuff in his way of freeing us from sin.

When I had a nice menopausal pimple make itself present, I learned more about vanity than I cared to admit. Since it's appearance it taught me not to place importance on looks nor for that matter what others may think. Since most of the time we judge by looks rather than what is in the heart of another. Sometimes things have a way of happening that bring us out of ourselves and corrects our way of thinking. I didn't think I placed that much importance on my looks, I don't wear make-up, but a blemish, now that had me bugged. So I began the process of taking more stock of my interior heart and looked more at the Sacred Heart of Jesus and not on myself. A thorough cleansing was needed. Because it's Jesus that matters to me most of all, not what others think.

Sacred Heart of Jesus

Act of Consecration to the Sacred Heart

O Sacred Heart of Jesus, to Thee I consecrate and offer up my person and my life, my actions, trials, and sufferings, that my entire being may henceforth only be employed in loving, honoring and glorifying Thee. This is my irrevocable will, to belong entirely to Thee, and to do all for Thy love, renouncing with my whole heart all that can displease Thee.

I take Thee, O Sacred Heart, for the sole object of my love, the protection of my life, the pledge of my salvation, the remedy of my frailty and inconstancy, the reparation for all the defects of my life, and my secure refuge at the hour of my death. Be Thou, O Most Merciful Heart, my justification before God Thy Father, and screen me from His anger which I have so justly merited. I fear all from my own weakness and malice, but placing my entire confidence in Thee, O Heart of Love, I hope all from Thine infinite Goodness. Annihilate in me all that can displease or resist Thee. Imprint Thy pure love so deeply in my heart that I may never forget Thee or be separated from Thee.
I beseech Thee, through Thine infinite Goodness, grant that my name be engraved upon Thy Heart, for in this I place all my happiness and all my glory, to live and to die as one of Thy devoted servants.

Amen.

St. Peregrine

Novena to Saint Peregrine

Oh great Saint Peregrine, you who have been called "The Mighty" and "The Wonder-Worker" because of the numerous miracles which you have obtained from God for those who have had recourse to you. For so many years you bore in your own flesh this cancerous disease that destroys the very fiber of our being, and who had recourse to the source of all grace when the power of man could do no more. You were favored with the vision of Jesus coming down from His Cross to heal your affliction. Ask of God and Our Lady, the cure of these sick persons whom we entrust to you.

Aided in this way by your powerful intercession, we shall sing to God, now and for all eternity, a song of gratitude for His great goodness and mercy. Amen.

Just Thoughts

I came home from work to find out Father was coming to dinner, and had other news that wasn't so good. My cousin Roger had found out he had cancer. The kind he had was invasive. When we found out about his illness it was less I think than a year ago. He passed away on July 4th. The shock has yet to set. He is only two years older than me too. I know my mom had mentioned that he wasn't doing too well. But I think more than anything it was the fact that his illness was swift that has the mind thinking it is so hard to believe he died so soon.

No one is ever truly prepared to die, yet there are many who have been given such a time to know that their life will end. It is in this time frame that they take care of business or tie up loose ends. They make arrangements, but I often wonder do they also prepare their souls for their coming passing. Some do and some don't. Just like we have many opportunites while we are living to come closer to God, some do and then again some don't. It seems to come down to choices then doesn't it. Do we choose to go to confession and free our souls of sin or do we choose to ignore our souls health. Sin is like cancer it eats away at the life of our souls. If we go to doctors for our physical health, then going to confession and Jesus is the same for our souls health as well. Death has a way of making us think about how quickly we could all be gone. Yet when we choose life we forget who gave it to us in the first place.

Random Thoughts

One thing about contemplation and solitude it allows the heart to know the calling of the Beloved. When I was looking up some stuff I came across an article of Silence and solitude that had me thinking about those occasional day trips where the beauty of contemplation and reflection are a must in our hectic lives. To take time to give ourselves totally to keeping our hearts purified. A time where we can let ourselves get closer to God without listening to the television or radio. The solitude at times helps us to reconnect to God in a busy world. Like spending moments in a Church in front of the Blessed Sacrament, even then we are not always alone with God. We have many distractions that take away in the solitude of our hearts. What does our heart seek to follow, what desires propel us to go after what we want. I know mine are the wants of God, peace in a world torn by strife. A world lost without love. My sights and my heart are set upon God and his kingdom always.

Heavenly Day

These photos are not all in chronological order. I throroughly enjoyed the ride to the mountains and spending quality time with our Lady and Jesus in quiet contemplation and solitude. Those are the days when drawing from the well spring of God's love always comes shining through. Like how a retreat refreshes the soul that thirsts for the Word of God in guidance and reflection. When I spend moments in quiet contemplation and solitude I reflect on the many times Jesus did the same when he would leave the apostles behind and go up the mountain to place himself in the hands of God. To unburden and refresh himself from all those he ministered to. When I received an e mail about being Alone with God, I had to think about the contents of it.

Today's travels were exactly what was needed to bring the results of that message. It was tough reading material, but at a time when the world can often invade a soul and evil attempts to destroy the peace of God within. Such as when material possesions seem to take over lives. The harmony that is part of living in God goes off balance. Those reflective journeys can often be consolations when it is done seeking the will of God for the greater glory of his love and his kingdom.

Last night I was cleaning out my favorites and checking out some dead links and came across a song that Gabrielle found, it is the one called "I, the Lord" by Tom Kendzia. The moment I heard it brought back so much truth to what I have experienced and what I have denied myself about. As I listened to that song I had to realize that in this journey I have learned and grown about the love of God in a very personal way. He captivated my heart as a friend, a husband. And I love him with all my heart. I will follow him always. I gladly take his hand and walk by his side.

Covered bridge on Rte 30 outside of Brattleboro, Vermont. Our Lady of Ephesus, House of Prayer, Jamaica, Vermont.
Our Lady of Ephesus, House of Prayer, Jamaica, Vermont.
Now that's a beautiful view of the mountains in the distance with the Cross in the foreground.
Placque at the entrance to the replica.
Interior view of the entrance from the Altar.
A beautiful Icon of our Lady and Jesus.
Exterior view of the Replica of the House of Ephesus.
The interior side room where the Bible is open to Ephesians.
View from the side room.
Front view of the Replica.
The Altar with a Statue of Mary.

MakeOvers

Now that was a harrowing experience in changing templates. I nearly lost it all, it took some searching to find a few things. But one thing that I couldn't put back was the pictures. Each time I put them on they wouldn't open or show. So until I figure it out they are temporarily gone. One thing I am grateful for is blogrolling where I have my blog links of favorite reading. Without that I would have lost the sites. And in the process of it I discovered blogger has added a new way of listing blog links. I think I've been trying to make my blog interesting to look at, from my point of view anyway. I like looking at things that are pretty and if mine is humdrum to look at well then a change is needed. So on that note if I'm not satisfied with it, it will change again.

It's like having God in our life, when he is present we are satisfied. The use of the sacraments help in keeping him present as well. When I look at things and see humdrum, then I need to perk up my relationship with my beloved. To look within and listen to what I need from him. More or less stoke the flames of his love. He is always there and we have a tendency to do what we do with our relationships with those we love. We get comfortable with the realization that they are there, until one day we find them gone no longer near us. Like a husband and wife when they first marry or a boyfriend and girlfriend when they discover and know the love in their hearts. After awhile the relationship changes to one of routine and soon the fire of love slowly dwindles. Those relationships, just like ours with God need to be kept alive, and that means stoking the fire. With God it is keeping our hearts pure and on the right path. With those we love, we need to do the same.