August 25, 2011

Why The Doubts?

Yesterday was a tough day being assailed by doubts after the treatments. You would think I would be used to it by now but I am not. These doubts come from the medicine that invade my body and it does something to me that is unexplainable. Like tiredness, pain in the back and then how it affects the thinking, that becomes distorted and painful. Being honest regarding what is taking place is not easy to reveal when it comes to health issues and the treatments that are received.

So again last evening I spoke with my Mom and Dad and found comfort and solace amid the pain my doubts were causing me. I asked to do a Rosary for assistance with these doubts and my mom had a thought come to her about praying for others during the rosary. I mentioned that Jesus does tell us to ask for prayer for ourselves as well. How else then are we to obtain assistance at times of trial if no one knows of our suffering. They will not be able to pray if they do not know in the first place. I know that these doubts may continue to assail me as the drugs continue doing what they do and that is rid the body of any rogue cells that may have invaded it. I am grateful for this treatment, but not the doubts of faith, of life, of so much more.

Then I had this notion of changing my blog template and that kinda went out the window as well since I am not too good at some of these things. More or less I don't have the imagination to make a nice blog page that would be appealing to others. But then again if the content was something good to read about that may help too. But as those doubts seem to come at times, I also know deep in my heart that God's Will will prevail no matter what and he will do what has to be done for all of us not just me or you or the next person.

5 Words of Wisdom:

Faith said...

I hope you are going to a good Catholic mental health counselor, along with your medical doctors. I know personally that what affects you physically, does affect you mentally. In fact, I contend that St. John of the Cross and St. Theresa of Avila, their dark nights were mental depression. It's normal.

Marie Cecile said...

That's good to know, but I don't think it's depression I am having but then again one never knows considering. I don't even know any Catholic Mental health counselors in the area. I just continue to pray and then pray for the whole world to come back to God and for his priests. I think I need to read the book on St. John of the Cross and St. Theresa of Avila. Thank you Faith.

Faith said...

Actually, your medical doctor can help. Just tell him that you're WORRIED about depression. He can assess the situation.
I belong to a diet group called T.O.P.S. and we were discussing motivation and the subject of an imbalance of body chemicals affecting one's emotions came up. I thought of all the medicine that you're taking and wondered if your doctors are on top of how they're affecting you emotionally, besides physically. It wouldn't hurt to tell them.

Faith said...

Have you felt like writing your article at all?

Marie Cecile said...

Hi Faith, My doctor is aware of my tiredness and I did put some stuff down that she needs to know. I will be out for the duration of this month and next month. I will be having one more treatment and that will be it. She is afraid that i will get too sick. As for the article I will be working on it this weekend and hopefully email it to you soon. I just have to figure out how to start it off and what to say on it because a few things have come to mind and i don't know how if I should mention how things seem to have come about in order for that particular suffering. The other is based deeply on faith but this one was at the beginning part of when so much was going on with the Eucharist.

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