August 12, 2011

More Time Off

I had my appointment today and ended up with the doctor saying I was hoping to get some of your energy. He mentioned I didn't seem perky as usual. I thought that was one of the nicest things a person could say. That means I am a bundle of energy. I was not that way today considering the last few days also the results of a rash on my head. Well as of this day, I will be out a few more weeks until I see my Oncologist for a determination of a return to work.

I was told that the illness seems to get worse after each treatment, I didn't want to hear that considering it took a toll on the first treatment and this time with different results. According to my paperwork on the chemotherapy and what I need to inform the doctor on that was it. The more I speak with the nurses they keep letting me know what the worst things I need to inform them of. Oh well then, I must be a stickler on whats seems to be going on with my body.

Now that I have gotten that off my chest so to speak I can now say that I have been seriously looking deeply at my faith and how I got where I am today. I took out the pictures and started to look them over and came to realize what an amazing thing I have been given. It's not everyday a person can say with all honesty that God paid them a personal visit and showed himself via the Eucharist. I have also come to understand that this also places my life in a different way. I am glad that through this gift that was given it brought me to a level of happiness that I would not otherwise have known or for that matter I would not have pursued the religious life. But then again I may have looked deeper into where I should have been if I never had that grace given to me.

I am beginning to see things in a different way than I did before because of the thoughts that go through my mind regarding prayer and God and what he did for me. A day cannot go by without the thought of thanking HIM or even mentioning something remarkable about the many things that were given. Silent moments of prayer in thanksgiving! I guess I should not be surprised at how it all came about, but I am. On that thought itself, these past few days I had an opportunity to clean out and go through my personal belongings as well. Sometimes it takes an illness to get things done in life that when we are well we would put off. I have a bad habit of holding onto useless papers or printed up articles for future reading even after it was originally read the first time. Talk about wasting time and space, the mind holds onto the information after it was given it so printing to hold onto it is quite useless. I think this round of illness actually has brought healing in another direction by the grace of God.

I think right now I must be rambling about mundane stuff so I will end here and hope that tomorrow will be a better day.

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