March 18, 2008

Good News

Last night I went to a prayer Cenacle, which I haven't done in awhile. It was nice to pray with others. We did something different for one of the men that is contemplating the Religious Life. He is also suffering some darkness, so we all gathered around him and prayed over him. That was a first for me as well as some others. I've laid hands on a few others when I felt prompted to do so and prayed over them. So yesterday was a wonderful day as it was also St. Patrick's Day. I did receive some good news as well on something else. I think that made my day and a beautiful blessing as well.

Today I got a phone call about a job. I called and tomorrow I have an interview after work. This job is good, it's a 9 to 5 one, only difference is working weekends. So I will also find out more as well. It's with a very good company and there is room for growth in it as well, that's a plus.

There was something very different today when working, I keep noticing how every other day it seems the people are how would one say, almost distant. One day they are friendly then the next they are in their own world. I don't know how to put it, but I was struck today with a profound thought, that it isn't me with the problem, it is them. For a long time I would take this upon myself, their moods and take the proverbial blame for them. But this profound thought, thankfully for the Holy Spirit's prompting allowed me to know that it's their problem, not mine. I'm not the problem in their day, it's what they go through when they don't have their drink, their drug to lull their addiction. I've never been around people with these types of addictions, I don't drink or do drugs, so I don't quite fit the mold with them and yet I love them all. It's not hard to love people even those that don't. But I never understood how much they suffer with their addictions in their mood swings, it's like a yo-yo at times.

I think when I came to understand more, I felt free in those moments. Not in the fact that it wasn't me, but that I listened and found strength in listening. I have also begun to see how Jesus is shaping out my life to follow his. I think the Mother Provencial had said it one day, that I already know, and I think I have been trying hard not to know. I think Saturday was quite the day that turned much around when I pretty much confronted God while driving and let go of my helplessness. And the smell of flowers was his bouquet.

2 Words of Wisdom:

teresa_anawim2 said...

I used to be just like that...until I realized that I was a very sensitive person and in being one, took all others' emotional problems within me, often blaming myself for their bad moods and bad behavior. It took me many lessons to realize this and know how to 'live and let live' in the workplace.

Bernice said...

I don't know teresa, but there is so much that goes on that it doesn't bother me. What I did at the beginning was take it almost personal their on and off switches and it took me awhile to see these things as I prayed for them. I think I was trying too hard to take care of their needs and I failed with helping them, but what it ended up doing was helping me see their problems in a new light and that it wasn't me but their problems.

In a way I guess you understand some of what I was writing about. Some of them are the hard learned lessons of life. I don't think we ever stop learning tho, especially not about faith that a continuous journey.

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