March 08, 2008

Apologies









I want to say I am deeply sorry. It was not my intention to return to writing so soon when some upheavals have happened. But if anything I have found staying positive makes a big difference in how we combact the trials that threaten to overwhelm us. I was shook up, I was overwhelmed, and most of all it was a moment of truth in my life and no matter how hard we fight to overcome it, sometimes we make errors in what we do. I truly at that time wanted to stop doing God's work when I felt completely alone and forlorn in the misery of life. But I love God far too much to hurt Him by not doing the work He calls me to. He gave me the desire to continue to be an instrument of His peace.

When I was cleaning out the junk papers I took them outside to burn them. In one batch I threw out a picture of Jesus and other stuff I had extra of. So in the fire it all went and when I went back outside I found everything burned but the picture. It was leaning in the corner of the fireplace with burned stuff right in front of it. The back of it had some soot and now has a black smudge on it. But the front is perfectly fine and untouched. In one little corner was a damp spot. Truly remarkable and quite wonderful. I have placed this picture where I can see it on my wall right beside the computer. I've scanned both sides of the card to show the wiped off area on the back and the untouched front. Just thinking about this one picture card, I had it for a very long time, and it ended up in a pile to be discarded, because I felt I didn't need the card. But it seems the words on the back and His special touch was needed to let me know I am victorious over my struggle and He is there taking the burden from me. If I am to give testimony and witness to what He is doing in my life, then who am I to stop what He prompted me to do in the first place. By placing my trust in Him.

7 Words of Wisdom:

Anonymous said...

Glad your back. GOD does work in wonderful ways.
MDGP

Bernice said...

He sure does MOM, and thank you for your love and support and showing me that writing is part of my ministry. My mom the quiet one who reads my posts finally is getting computer savvy and learning how to comment.

teresa_anawim2 said...

Hi to MC's MOM!
I am sure glad I decided this morning to pop on over and see how you were faring, MC.
I do hope you are back.
I also have deleted my blog after times of trial only to begin again a few months later, wishing I had just let the blog hibernate rather than delete everything. I am glad to see that you are here and I LOVE the bright new color and clean simplicity...a New Beginning.

That picture is a loud message that He is there with His Sacred Heart ..what does that picture mean to you? The Sacred Heart With the open arms? Great food for thought and contemplation each day during the trial of the obscurity of Faith!

Have you ever read Caussaude's Abandonment to Divine Providence?
Barbara Dent has read it and mentions it in her books that it has helped her tremendously in those dark times.
I own a copy and consider it invaluable.

He loves you and has you in the palm of his hand and the center of His Heart right now, MC.
teresa_anawim
I include a link here so you can read it online:

http://www.ccel.org/ccel/decaussade/abandonment.html

teresa_anawim2 said...

that link has an invalid format.
try this:

http://www.ccel.org/

click on 'title'

choose
"ABANDONMENT TO DIVINE PROVIDENCE"

Bernice said...

Hi teresa_anawim2, I'm glad you popped in too. And Yes I am back, the trial is still going on, but with renewed strength. I will write about it, it's interesting. I know what you mean and that was one reason why I didn't take that step, deleting. I think I had decided to hold off for awhile, to give myself time to overcome the upheavals.

Anyway, the book you mention, I do have and have read, but at a time when my mind had so much to comprehend that recalling it is near impossible. It is on the reread list and I can do so via the link you so kindly gave. Thank you for it. And I do look forward to reading the other book you have mentioned also.

The other question regarding the picture, that too is interesting, I was thinking about that very thing you mentioned not long ago. That is food for a post :-)

Anonymous said...

Hi Mc, sorry I've been away for so long. I'm glad to see you've recovered from your dark moment. I'm sort of in a grey moment right now, very blah...I don't know if it's only grey because I'm trying to ignore the blackness that looms on the horizon...But your latest posts have reminded me that things are cyclical, and that I've been there before and come out of it. I'm reading Mother Teresa's book about her darkness, although hers lasted so long!

Bernice said...

Hi Pia,

there is one thing I have discovered when we go through consolations and desolations, that it does happen sometimes in cycles as you mentioned. I'm still reading the book "The Discernment of Spirits," in a slow pace so I can absorb it better. That is where I have found how to deal with desolation in a more positive way. I think that is why I came out of it faster.

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