December 31, 2007

Never Give Up

I had come to the conclusion that my spiritual desolation had quite an impact on me. But it did wonders because I never gave up. There was a song on the Album that I mentioned before called "Awake," it's called You Are Loved (Don't Give Up) , if you click the title you may be able to hear the song if you haven't already. Okay now that I published to see if it works, which it does I can continue to write. Well anyway this song helped me to not give up on my spiritual heart. I began to see something emerging that I didn't quite like, it was a slipping back into old habits, or new ones that were not in conformity with God. I have changed throughout my life so many times to perfect an imperfect person it isn't funny. I would change a lot about myself, not always a good thing when it isn't done for God. So I saw it happening and I didn't like it because God is my life, my love. The dream that I had about choices I too began to wonder about and whether or not to pursue the vocation of religious life even at the age of 50. I am in a contemplative community but live a life as a lay person devoted to God and where I am part of a whole unit but not in the way of living within. They call them Third Orders but in actuality they are Lay Fraternities. I live in this world but practice the rule of the Order and live my life in prayerful contemplation.

The first choice I mentioned was part of a choice I must make, and the other is to change jobs that will allow the growth needed to live in dignity and in conformity to the way of life I chose. To be able to fend for myself and have the needed benefits that are not part of being a temp. Such as paid holidays and vacation. I don't have any of those and this Christmas brought it more to mind than ever. And I'm reminded of the many in other countries who are far worse and yet He is right there beside us, walking with us and often holding us up when we fail to notice that we are being carried very gently in the palm of His hand. He cradles us and soothes us and places people in our lives to nudge us and to slap us up side the head to say hey listen you are loved don't give up. But those aren't my words they are borrowed from the song to make a point about learning to listen to the voice of God and let Him guide our steps for a better tomorrow.

3 Words of Wisdom:

Anonymous said...

Lovely post..

Anonymous said...

Well, I'll say it too, mc. If you are being called to live in community, don't give up, despite apparent circumstances. He will guide you, and the timing will be all His, but you'll have to do some of the legwork, so to speak. I am so praying that your heart's desire will be realized.

Bernice said...

Gabrielle, thank you for your prayers. They are deeply appreciated.

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