blah

I haven't written much lately not for lack of what to write but for a sense of blah. I've discovered something to this blah that has manifested itself. When I was reading yesterday a book that is taking me forever to get through a few pages I found what it is I am undergoing. It's called spiritual desolation. And at this moment it seems I have it and one I'm glad is not permanent. From what I have read this is okay and it's in recognizing it and going from there. That little bit of reading helped quite a bit. By-the-way I had to go and sit in my car to read, since they don't quite like leaving me a bit of silence or alone at break times but that's okay too.

Christmas has been getting more bizarre in my family as they gather they rather eat the fare prepared before it's time to serve it, usually after midnight. But for them it's more like a feeding frenzy when they arrive. I suppose that's okay too. Tradition at this time of year has taken a downhill slide in favor of pleasing their, I can't wait to go home attitude. Midnight Mass is no longer and if I go it will postpone their pleasure on gift exchanging and then leaving as quickly as possible. Not a pretty picture is it. Has this also contributed to some of the spiritual desolation I was getting prior to. The yearly changes that leave a bad taste to what should be a warm and joyous time. I know I have experienced a beautiful presence in the last few years and to witness these changes that once were beautiful as a family. We all would go together to Mass, but now the youngest generation are grown they don't worship and that is sad, they can't wait to leave and that is even sadder still. So if tradition is mundane rejoice because once it's gone it is missed.