Off again

This will be the second retreat I go to. This one is needed as much as the last one. More so since there have been more spiritual attacks. Is is possible that they are happening because of it or the closeness to God I feel. I know this is one weekend that he approved of, because of praying for discernment on whether or not to go. I will not say how I received the answer but I did in an unusual way, that wouldn't be possible otherwise. No matter what cross I am given it is to be carried with Jesus in mind for the cross he carried first. I am reminded how he died for me, for us. A reminder to say I lived and am with you always.

They are so good to us and we take our sweet old time in coming back to him. I know I am slow too in that regard since I spent a lifetime running away from him. I fear God and his wrath far greater than any thing. Yet deep down I have always known how good and loving he is. I've loved him all my life, and one cannot hide or run away from a love so pure. Because his love is pure, it's clean, untainted by sin and error. It's a blessing to know and feel that love. Words cannot describe the love he gives, it's beautiful.