Calm

I'm at a loss for words and my thoughts keep going round and round. When trials come our way it's not always easy to accept them gracefully. How hard it is to keep a chip up when everything seems to fall around us. I received news today that my job is ended, but on the bright side they have something else for me. It was tough to take the news and now to start over again at another place.

It is a time such as this when we are put to the test with our faith. One thing I know my faith on the job stood out to the point that a remark was made about me being a Nun. That was nice to know, even though I'm not. But then again being a Lay Dominican is living a Religious life but on the outside. A good thing for this too, since it would take me a while to pay of some stuff. Not gripping about that since it is mine to take care of. Bad enough when being unemployed and going to school I lamented about it too much. My error. This too I am discovering that there are moments when I mess up. I'm human, thankfully not perfect.

I have found writing is very good to let us see how we truly are. If you can read my soul then you see the real me. Our soul is who we are. I think I am grateful to have a prayer answered that I didn't realize I was asking for. A chance for a different job to make more money to pay off my debts. I didn't realize that I had prayed this the other day. Interesting how we forget until we are reminded. For me it was in writing about praying that brought it to mind. I didn't think about it when I got the news, I was kind of in shock or numb.

I wonder what the difference is when we have no faith and lose a job and the reaction, versus when we have faith. Worry when there is no faith, calm when there is. But then again this is not necessarily what happens to others. I don't know how another with or without faith might take it. I'm not worried, and I'm calm too. I even got to see a deer this morning, that made my day. Found a few four leaf clovers to remind me of how lucky I am to be alive by the grace of God. I seem to always find them when there are moments in my life when I need a bit of positive hope, this is God's love reaching out. He's never far away and right now I am glad he is carrying me in his arms. Glad he has strong arms too, I'm not exactly a lightweight. A bit of laughter is good. I think it is in these small ways that I have found his nearness as well as when I am with him in Adoration. He always gives us blessings in such unique ways, bits of love and hope to keep our faith strong when things are not always so bright.