January 25, 2007


One thing I've always discovered is change is good. I've made many a mistake, not always made smart choices, but looking back at times has allowed me to conquer my weaknesses. I would not have gone to school a few years ago, nor would I have been able to stand in front of people and speak to them about faith in a classroom. I think the one job I have loved had taught me to teach. It was the job I lost. It was there where I was given the first opportunity to teach others the criteria for a job. To show them how to do their job and what it entailed.

Since then I had conquered the fear to speak in front of others. I'm not always a good speaker though. When I have had the opportunity to speak about my faith it does come across beautifully. And then there are times I think people are afraid of me and I don't know why. But then I remember a coworker explaining to me how when we give off light those who are in darkness shy away. The light is too much for them, and when people are not nice it is this I have to remember. It doesn't matter what I see or what I hear people are sometimes callous anyway.

Today was strange, a name came to mind while I was working. Sylvia is the name, and I happened to say out loud, how when a name comes to mind that I should pray for that person. And the girl I was working with, her friend is named Sylvia. I don't think this is a coincidence, but a call for prayer on the person's behalf. That's what I have been told to do, I don't recall from who had told me this, maybe my mom. So when I get something like that, that's what I do, I pray for them.

There is something that I love and it's keeping my mind upon God, especially when gossip begins, and I end it without speaking. I have found it is easy to pray while working, but going to daily Mass is lost and missed. I haven't been able to make Vespers this week. I need to readjust and to refocus on the important part of my life, and that being God. I want so much to do his will and to abandon myself, to understand where I am headed. But with God it' s in his time and not mine as I continue to develop in his ways.

I love him so much, he has always been a big, major part of my life. I was just blind to my own faith in him. I did not see the faith I had that others saw in me. I always placed myself as a wretched sinner and I did sin, there is no excuse. I think that's why it bothers me that I did sin and how I struggle daily not to. Because I don't want to sin. Well anyway these are my thoughts this day.

I pray for God's continual guidance in my life and his constant love.

2 Words of Wisdom:

Gabrielle said...

It's a really wonderful thing that you've conquered the fear of speaking in public, mc. That is something I've never been able to do.

Marie Cecile said...

It wasn't easy, but I'm sure if you did you would do just fine gabrielle

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