December 11, 2006

How Much

Sometimes in the working world it is hard to keep a contemplative mind. Especially when the others are cracking jokes or doing what they all do best when another is absent, gossip of them. One thing I found today was disgusting was how easy it is for people to speak about the others they work with.Oh this one got drunk, or that one wore too much make-up, and people do this all the time with little respect. It was the hardest morning of my life, having to listen to the others while working and keep the mind of Christ at the same time. I began to pray, and I hope there isn't too many of those days when gossip is the main topic. All things considered they are a good group of people, and we talk about a wide range of topics too.

When I was at my past jobs, that is one area I never gave rise to, and today was no exception. Gossip turns people against others, it causes misjudgement of others. And to think that we Christians do a lot of it. I think part of following Jesus is to not take part in these things, but how do we correct others of this flaw, other than just quietly being silent when it happens.

Anyway, prayer was and always is part of the day. Silently praying for hatred that festers, for God to soothe the wounds of those who hate, to replace the hatred with love. God is love in every essence, why else would he try to win a heart to his. He uses gentle coaxing, but we who follow must also obey his will.

If he gently says stretch out your arms, and we don't, then we are not obeying his will out of pride. I did that last night at Chapel when I had this little voice say to strectch out your arms, but I did not. Not out of pride, but out of foolishness, in the presence of others. Maybe it was pride too. But when I read a paragraph from the bible for guidance, I had my comeuppance. When I knelt before the Blessed Sacrament I stretched out my arms in apology for not doing his will at the moment it was asked of me. Whether it was a test of obedience to his holy will or just a test, either way I failed to do so when it was prompted. I say I love God, and then I turn and not do his bidding when asked. But he answers me and I in my smallness could not give back fast enough.

To follow and love God requires much of a soul, to adhere to what he asks even if others may think we are odd at times. But then no one ever said it would be easy to follow the ways of God. Sometimes yes it is very easy and other times it is harder than anything, I would not trade loving God for anything. Having known his love has changed me to the point of no return. There is no going back to a life of sin, but forward in the life of everlasting love.

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