November 22, 2006

Trials and then some.

Yesterday, was not a day that is what I call eventful. It was a very painful one. I almost felt like Jesus standing before the Judge awaiting sentence. Now I know the secret code that lawyers use when they want to execute someone. It does not matter that a person has been without work, you can guarantee more will be added just to spite a person. But that's okay, I know it was my mistake in not taking care of what I had. So it is my punishment. Jesus suffered far more than any of us and those moments of absolute distress I called him, to please be my strength when I was so very alone facing the unknown.

I learned a very dear lesson that no matter what we go through in life he is with us. But that wasn't my lesson, it had to do with something else entirely. It had to do with faith and trust that he would get me through it, and he did. I didn't drop dead, I survived the hardship and I will continue to do so. I found the most extraordinary thing happen when I sat crying, a guard handed me a paper with a prayer on it. I spent a very profound time in the bathroom composing myself and forgiving them for not forgiving me. And then me forgiving me and then asking God to do the same, I mean I was a mess. I was bruised deeply but I am okay. Never let things get to the point where nothing can be done or not try. In my stupidity, I didn't try because I let fear of how to handle things get in the way. That is a very big lesson too.

You know when God tears down to rebuild, he does a magnificent job of it. And to think being purified for God's purpose has it's benefits. No one ever said it would be easy following him. It is not painless either, sometimes that is what I think stops people from following. The fear of going through trials. I took mine and yes I did my best, not always with a smile, but in the end he knows what he is doing better than I do.

Yesterday I can say was one day he carried me in his arms, he sheltered my heart from pain and took it from me. Reading Abandonment to Divine Providence helped too before going into court. I'm just thankful it's over will. I think writing about the misfortune helped me also from letting ot get overwhelming. Sometimes we need to unload even when we talk to Jesus about our troubles. I've bent his ear so many times it's a wonder he hasn't tuned me out. Laughing at that thought. That's a human trait, not a divine one. Laughter is so good. Right now I would love more than anything to hug him. And I suppose with that thought I can think it. (((((Jesus)))) I LOVE YOU.

5 Words of Wisdom:

forget me not said...

(((hugs MC))) And Happy Thanksgiving. Have a piece of turkey for me.

Marie Cecile said...

((((hugs FMN)))), Okay, but I like the wings and one is usually enough, so now I have an excuse to have both. Thank you. I wish you a very Happy and Blessed Thanksgiving too. Feel the hug coming your way. Let me know if the impact was a bit much. I'll try not to squeeze too hard.

AutumnRose said...

What a beautiful blog you have :)

forget me not said...

I think I know why you like wings MC...
"People are like angels, but with only one wing. They have to hold on to each other to be able to fly." (Bishop Tonino Bello)

Marie Cecile said...

FMN, I love that thought!

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