November 20, 2006

One Hurdle

One hurdle has been jumped, I start a new job on Monday. Not in the field I went to school for, but a job anyway. Who knows in two years with diligence all things may be cleared up. But at least one hurdle was overcome. Tomorrow is another trial I face. Not one I'm looking forward too either. One thing I learned out of it all, it's hard to rely on others, that's why I don't go looking for handouts. It has nothing to do with pride either. I put myself in this position, so why should anyone help me get out of it.

Or expect any help from others. People I have found sometimes feel as if those without, look at those who give as if they will do so all the time. I'm not like that. It bothers me more than them that I have nothing to give. They should never feel obligated to give for me either. That's when I find friendship is tested most of all. But when we steer clear of others out of this then we have no love either.

It's like having a disease, and those with the disease feel as if they are lepers in a community. It's sad how we treat each other when those who have and those who have not can not be together in friendship. Not out of fear of taking care of them.

One thing I have learned out of having money and not having money and being homeless, is how people treat each other. I've had the grace to have been on both ends and experience both and to see how we do treat others.

When I went to my friends fathers funeral, I went out of friendship not out of who he is or how he could help me, but out of genuine friendship. When I went up to him, he gave me such a beautiful hug, he didn't have to but he did. On the day of the burial, it was the same, he gave me a beautiful hug. You know something, that meant the world to me and to him at the time. After all it was the loss of his Dad that he needed the comfort for and I needed it because he didn't reject me as others are prone to do. As I've seen many turn away throughout the years. Those two hugs are the only ones I have ever received from him after all these years. God does touch our lives in special ways. I was there for and as a friend when most were business's or political.

That recounting brought tears to my eyes, because I didn't sense any falseness from him. Not unlike others. It's often rare to come across a genuine soul that cares.

God does lead the way when we let him, and I am finding out more and more his sense of humor. One thing is the love that is so very deep in my heart for Him, for God alone is all I need.

I'm sorry if my plight is a bit touchy, but there are many more out there who suffer worse and do not see any help. This is why God loves the poor for he alone is their comfort.

4 Words of Wisdom:

Gabrielle said...

Marie Cecile, your post is making me think of one of my favourite songs we sing at church; it goes, "The Lord hears the cry of the poor, Blessed be the Lord." Your faith and trust, day after day, inspires me.

Congratulations on your new job, and I wish you the very best as you start into it next week.

Marie Cecile said...

Thank you Gabrielle for the wish as I start out again.

I just hope that what I have gone through can help others who are going through similar, but seem to have despair instead of hope.

forget me not said...

MC, this experience has brought you especially close to the Lord's experience while he was on this earth hasn't it? Maybe that's the key to it all.

Marie Cecile said...


Yes it has. And believe me it's not an experience too many want to have either. But my experience began when I was financially ok, and from there he took me through the proverbial mill. You know something Jesus didn't have it all that easy either. People were out to kill him.

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