November 24, 2006


It was a very filling day yesterday, a thankful one too.Good thing we only had two meals, breakfast and supper.Breakfast was at my brothers and supper was at my sisters for leftovers. Through the years my Mom used to have the whole family here, but in the last couple of years it seems the others prefer doing their own thing. With the kids now older and the parents letting them do their thing, rather than get together like we all used to when my grandparents were alive. Now that I look back those are treasured memories. Because they don't want to keep the tradition up. My parents are the grandparents in this phase but now it seems as if it's not the thing to be together.

I've noticed that with my brother and his kids, most of the time they were absent. My other brother it's the same, the kids we never saw them yesterday. They never showed up. My sister, they were there, but sometimes they too go off to their rooms so they will not be bothered.

Does it bother me, yes. I wouldn't be human if it didn't.All too often we see work has taken over the holidays when family should be together.

It's the same with prayer life, many stop because they work not stop. How can they worship when their Sunday is a day of work rather than a day of rest and prayer. Just like the changes on how making money is more important than being with family, it's the same about God too when we go all out to avoid him.

I would like to see things happen that would bring back harmony into people's lives. It bothers me that my brother, because of his wealth lets his kids do what they want rather than be together as family when we are together. Or make excuses because one is hung over or upset because of a fight they had with a friend and can not be there, but is there alone in their room. What the eyes see and the ears hear is not always pleasant.

I think that more and more, how material wealth and how our culture has brought a change in the way families gather today, has caused a rift that is getting wider and wider. And soon it may be beyond repair. But it is with hope that with God all things are possible and he will soon deliver us from the ever widening chasm.

If we fear being judged for our hurts or our concerns then we are not living. So today I write of my concerns and put away the fear of being judged.

3 Words of Wisdom:

forget me not said...

Your concerns are the concerns of everyone. Our family has a strong tradition still, and my husband's family does as well. I guess we fit into the Italian stereotype quite well. But what will happen when the grandparents are gone and our children grow older?
We celebrate Christmas every year here at my place, as my husband is the elder sibling. Last year my brother in law asked us to break the tradition because he owns a "farm restaurant" (that's a new thing here in Italy, where farmers open a restaurant and serve good "home cookin'". He had decided to take bookings for Christmas day. We agreed half heartedly and my niece and nephew and our two boys were not happy at all. The day went nicely enough but it was not Christmas! Thank goodness my sister in law told me they were not going to do it this year. She said "besides, my kids said they were going to your house no matter what and that they would have left us without any help". I'm glad kids are sometimes much wiser than adults.

Anonymous said...

With school activities and Scouts and equestrian eventing and basketball and soccer and color guard and music and art lessons concerts recitals, etc etc, along with the jobs and p/t jobs (too much expense, even tho' at a minimum) and caretaking of others and yes, parish and community work, too!, we were all so busy, we suddenly found that we gathered not at all for meals anymore. Someone was always missing, even on those Sundays when we'd have a big dinner. That also was depressing for anyone living with us because they were kicked out of their own families. Heck, folks do NOT get married and have families, only to live separately! There's things we must do, and it seems events and tryouts and heats and scrimmages and games are all schedulced for Sundays. We mean so well, and we are exhausted trying to balance it well.

My husband and I decided we needed to establish at least one family night in which everyone could be present.. it wasn't easy. But we called it "Family Night." People were expected to come. Some couldn't even make it for the whole eve, but at least if we dine with family and talk, and know we are doing something FOR as well as with the family, it's important to us to uphold. If I had it to do over again, many things would be different. Some things would NOT be barter-able; they would be carved in stone.

You ladies already know, but the younger generation does not, that when we lose family ties, there's really not much left. Sure, you can make others 'family'.. but it's not the same.

Marie Cecile said...

I see that no matter what part of the world we live in, or how strong our faith is we all have our trials when it comes to tradition and family gatherings. No one is immune to today's world compared to yesteryear. I'm glad that you FMN and Honora wrote of your concerns too.

It's trying to keep the gap from getting ever wider as we get older and the children too.

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