November 08, 2006

Burning branches

After taking care of the job search and doing what needed doing, late in the afternoon I started picking up more wood and burning the branches.

While I was doing this, there came a point when I began to burn memories too. We often go through many trials to purge us of sins that we hold onto. I didn't know there was any left to burn away. But I found some, and in that purification I found comfort with a sense of renewal.

Sometimes things happen in our lives, that we know not the reason for it. I had to stand back and burn away remnants to see a bigger picture. I saw how very many times God has answered a question, or brought to light a grace. But in my own grief for a few things that have gone unanswered, I saw a new answer. I had to think was it a fear that kept me from finding a job, yet I discovered something about me in the process of this question. I go and teach, and those kids are difficult to say the least, they do everything possible to be disruptive, and yet I go and face them. A job is not that difficult as teaching. I go and learn and try to meet new people and speak to them even when I am shy at brief moments. I go places often alone without anyone.

So out of this list I discovered I am not afraid, I have gone and done things that are not always easy. Now that I have found something unique about myself, I was able to burn the grief I was holding for things beyond my control. I learned things happen in God's time, not in mine. Even when he answers quite fast, there are some situations that he takes a little longer with. But in the end it is for my good after all. Not what I think is good for me.

The parrot we have from my brother, we have discovered is a Senegal Parrot. Ollie one evening decided to fly, but something happened and he went flying into a mirror and scraped an area above his eye. Nursing him that night to keep him from shock was a loving kindness. He was in a daze and I held him and talked to him and kept him awake. The next day he pretty much slept on and off. We kept waking him up so he would eat and drink. I think he had quite a headache, poor thing. He's sitting on my shoulder right now, almost back to his normal self, minus some feathers above both his eyes. Now we can see his ear holes, amazing always wondered about those. Now I know. I thank God he didn't break his neck, and God spared him.

I thank God for my trials that keep me strong in faith. I praise Him for all of creation. I love him more than anything in the world.

2 Words of Wisdom:

Gabrielle said...

"comfort with a sense of renewal" through the purification - that is what it's all about, isn't it, mc? So many people think of it as harsh, as frightening, but we really do receive comfort from the Holy Spirit, and renewal with a change of heart, a change of focus.

Marie Cecile said...

True, Gabrielle the renewal was for me a change of focus. I have had so many things that have been shown to me that I was having a hard time grasping what he was letting me know.

In the process of burning away it was creating a firmer footing and belief in the gifts he gave long ago, but now have come to light in the oddest of ways. And the Holy Spirit's comfort in those moments are tremendous.

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