September 30, 2006


Tonight should be an early one for sure. I over did it today. There is so much that needs to be done before the onslaught of winter, my favorite time of year. I had some fun sawing some saplings. And then using the chain saw my dad started for me. He showed me how to use it, compared to last time when I did it on my own. Between burning the downed branches that have been picked up and put in a pile that grew way to big. Some of the neglected stuff has now been taken care of.

I must have had at least a dozen yellow jackets wander into my room today too. I would like to know where they came from. I looked all around the base of the house outside to see if they came from under the wood frame or under the ground. Oh well, that will have to wait for another day. I'm just not ready to be stung by one again.

I had a wasp sting my leg when I was pruning a yew bush and the mark has not gone away. Unless it was a spider, it definitely made a bubble. But it hurt.

So back to the fall yard clean up and how it's not over by any means, there is so much to do, I come across fallen trees, branches, etc that need to be cleared. But today I took down a Spruce that looked more than half dead and it was very small for the age it was. I think it was put in the wrong spot to begin with. While the other ones that were planted around the same time are now huge this one and another one are tiny.

It's not hard to imagine how God does the same to us when we are stunted in growth, how he prunes us to strengthen us or he chops us down for our total vileness. I have had this strange habit of associating a lot of what I do and what happens with how God deals with us. And most especially me, for the times when I did wrong and repented. I will always remember the one day I was at Chapel and my heart was overcome with such sorrow for my sins, that it brings tears to my eyes just to recall it. How in God's beautiful way he reached out and touched me to let me know I was forgiven. To know so very deep in my heart this is a feat of God's grace.

I think if anything that should I have gone to confession the result would not have been the same but the forgiveness would always have been there anyway. I think because I did so much in the way of cleaning up that letting God do his work in and through me that I can see how profound he has done things since that beautiful day. I will always believe I am no one special, not because I don't want to be, but because I want to serve God in every way that I can. And it is not always easy when we encounter people every day set on their way and how they feel without regard to another.

On Friday there was one person who was bent on mischief where I school, and I told her, all people are good, it's just when they do evil they are not. I never saw a person change quite that fast. A good thing I hope considering they all were saying how cold it was in the room when the temperature was 79 degrees. So whatever reason they all had for their game, mine was not a part of it, I prayed and continued to pray that somehow the games would cease in peoples lives. There is no need for it, and what they do will reflect on them much later when they come across the one who will judge them at their end. So I continued to smile and just did the work I was told to do, and give them kindness in return.

I know so many people go through so much on a day to day basis without once thinking about the results when and how it will affect their lives. They just don't care. For me I think that when the conscience rules what I do, then I know I'm on the right path. It's when I veered off of it that I understood the harm it does to a soul. I wonder then if that is why so many people are unhappy, because they haven't found how to be that way or by whom, the one who we trust the most God and Jesus. I suppose the day today and how tired I am right now has me going into contemplation too soon. So for now I will stop and end with a prayer for all.

May God be always with you and by your side when troubles seem to come your way may he hold you gently in the palm of his hand.

2 Words of Wisdom:

Gabrielle said...

Marie Cecile, when you say you have a "strange habit" of associating things you do with how God deals with us, or even just with God in general maybe, I don't think it is really a "strange habit". It's that as we grow closer to Him, as He takes over every area of our lives, everything within our daily routine takes on a sacramental nature, and this is good. This is practising the presence of God.

Marie Cecile said...

Thank you Gabrielle, for letting me see in a new way that my habit of associating things is good. I just always thought of myself as having a strange habit that has been all of my life without realizing that I was doing as you say practising the presence of God.

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