Joy and Sorrow

What a beautiful moment at Chapel today, the joy was awesome, so were the brief tears. Just before the tears were shed during our special rosary I was overcome with My God, My God. So powerful that wracking sobs shook my body, yet in those moments without disturbing the other Adorers, I tried to keep them from happening, it was difficult though. I don't know why I was overcome, just like I have no idea why I wanted to fling my arms wide. I didn't though. There are times when I find it hard when people are present, it's always in the back of my mind about disturbing others in a quiet room. But God will have his way no matter what, when, where and how. He will speak to a heart that is openly trusting of his divine will. What I learned today was a bit on the end of my doing his will. so when I felt I was to fling my arms wide and didn't then I was not quite given over to do his will. Or as trusting as I thought, but then as I write this I also just realized the reason for the deep sorrow. Is it then to presume that I failed his test, by holding myself back for fear of disturbing others while in His most Holy Presence. Then all I can say Dear Father, the love of my heart I beg your forgiveness for not listening and responding as I should. But then again, I left there with joy in my heart.