God Matters to Me

Now that this terms finals are over, I can attempt to start reading a book I began some time ago, The City of God. I don't have much longer with school, another two terms, plus an externship. So by October it should be over. My journey as a partial hermit will have to come to end. Work calls, but prayer and loving God never ends. I love him so very much. There are no words to describe the love that engulfs me at times, it is enormous. The great part of loving God is a constant reflection of conscience, not a moment slips by unnoticed. It is a desire to purify what offends and to make amends. This is me, I search my soul, and destroy what offends God the most.

I have an album of music that is religious, yet I cannot listen to it, it sounds so very dark. Almost to the point it sounds gothic. As I listen to how the songs are taking on a new way of blending voices, I cringe, it's like a cacophony of discord. I find myself going to Mass without a choir, it's peaceful. Then I would question, maybe it's me, but I have no problem listening to one person sing. It all seems to be the new way it is all being put together. So I offer my ears to God, and pray it will not be as bad as I hear it is. There are so many beautiful voices out there too. I suppose what matters is that my ears and hearing are attuned to God's voice and none other thankfully. My opinion doesn't matter, so it's not a big deal. It's just discouraging not being able to attend a singing Mass without it being an unpleasant experience. The only time it is pleasant, is during the celebration of the Eucharist, where his Presence always seems to bring joy to my soul. That for me is the real reason to be at Mass in the first place, to honor and praise God who is one with our risen Lord.

Je t'aime mon Dieu, où j'essaye d'être toujours, vos la plupart domestique dévoué.
I love you my God, where I try to always be, your most devoted servant.