May 26, 2006

A Bouquet

I'm beginning to think that every time I mow the lawn or some small area it starts to rain a few hours later. Come to think of it doesn't that tend to happen when we wash the cars. Either way, thank you Heavenly Father for watering the lawn, it will stay green for it. I managed to pick up some downed branches and build a nice roaring fire. All this work felt good. It's nice when things get accomplished. Or else I wouldn't be able to mow a path in the woods to take a walk. Once the ferns grow tall it's hard to see fallen branches. Yard pruning, woods pruning, it all ends up looking quite nice. I think it's the same when God does the pruning with me too. I get to grow and develop like a choice fruit on the vine. The more God works on me the sweeter the results. And it's like that with everyone, we see such beauty in God's work.

Some one once told me I was my own worst enemy, and I never understood what that meant. It wasn't until recently that I finally understood it. What can I say, what I saw in myself others did not see. I did not see what they saw. I was blind to myself. It's funny how things have a way of bringing to light the good in ourselves. Sometimes misfortune blinds us to the point that we don't realize our own potential. Or being with the wrong people that blind us. In a bad relationship when you are positive and they are negative, it zaps you. They try to destroy what is good. I think that is why I always clung to God fiercely all my life.

The strangest thing I recall a lot of times when I heard about so many changes that went from good to bad, I wanted to fix it, but it was often the thought of how much God must be suffering because of my sins and what the world is doing to hurt him. I wanted to comfort him, to soothe his hurt as well, not just mine. I never realized my thinking was a bit out of the ordinary. And maybe that is why I was always different from others. There is something quite special about knowing God, it's his love that attracts us to him.

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