Little Blessings

Today I read an article about Eucharistic miracles and how we are to discern these things. It's true, discerning is always the wisest thing to do when it comes to things of this nature. I know I did when I saw Jesus on the Eucharist. I felt wonderful that day, and I continue to do so. There are moments of extreme darkness, that obscure the Divine. I had so much doubt at the beginning, if this was even from God. To understand this, I was going through a lot at the time.(There is something else too, prior to this many things began to manifest over time, that I misunderstood). For me I know the joy I had, but it was my thoughts that I battled with. Is this really happening, as it continues now. So many things went on in my thoughts. I look back now and realize it was a process I needed to go through. I remember telling someone I felt like Job; God was testing my faithfulness. Yet all my life I talked to him. I sit here with tears in my eyes for the hurt I caused Jesus, for the times my lack of faith caused me to doubt his plan in my life. Yet he loves me still. When I went to the Chapel Monday night, I saw something again, but it was so faint, yet it was there. Each day I see it clearer, it's remarkable.
My family knows what I see, as I have told them. Am I in awe of God, you bet I am. For whatever reason for the past few years he has shown himself to me, whether it is for personal or otherwise. I read somewhere else too, that sometimes seeing is not always believing. I understand this, when a sinner is given a gift, it is almost hard to believe that a kindness could be given. As I write this I realize the truth of this, it's as if we feel unworthy. I know God's forgiveness in my life and his love. God is Love in every sense of the word.